A Florida man was taught one of the primary laws of vehicular combat this weekend when he brought a head to a bus fight and lost, badly.

The Federal Election Commission Wednesday released the 92-page personal financial disclosure of one Donald J. Trump, a $4 billion puddle of tinted moisturizer haphazardly garnished with hair and eyebrows who wants to be the next president. The Trump-puddle, who oozed slowly down an escalator last month and (inaccurately) declared he was worth $8.7 billion, has increased his claim by more than a billion since then.

Most people would frown upon a business journalist lobbying the mayor of New York City over a political issue on behalf of a corporation she covers. CNBC’s Amanda Drury doesn’t see the big deal.

Dylann Roof, the 21-year-old man accused of killing nine people at a Charleston church last month, has been indicted on 33 federal charges, including hate crimes.

Your best friend Taylor Swift is going to China. At least, a line of officially licensed Tayla merchandise bearing her initials and birth year will be available in the country soon. Do you think the Chinese people will buy it?

Simon and Schuster, publisher of Mark Whitaker’s Cosby: His Life and Times—much maligned for glossing over Bill Cosby’s long history of sexual assault allegations—has pulled all the celebrity blurbs from the book’s listings on Amazon and elsewhere, the AP reports. In some cases, the celebrities themselves asked to have their endorsements scrubbed from the internet.

Heidi Klum struts down a runway and for a moment the stretch appears to ominously resemble a gang plank. At the end of Klum’s long walk waits a tall, thin woman with gleaming white teeth, giddily anticipating a grabby, waist-level embrace between them. Klum, a seasoned runway model, side-steps to the music once or twice, shuffling her feet to the right—one-two—and then to the left—one-two—and with every step, she looks like she’s slowing down, delaying her arrival to the stage’s finish, where she’ll be left to fend for herself in the loose hungry limbs of twenty-five-year-old Taylor Swift: pop star, diva, immaculate bestie.

At 25 minutes and five seconds into the arrest video taken three days before Sandra Bland’s death in jail, a tow truck operator can be seen shutting his truck’s door and walking toward the police cruiser’s dashcam. At 25:16, he exits on the right side of the frame. Four seconds after that, the footage jump-cuts to the same scene: the door is suddenly open and the man materializes as if from thin air and begins his route toward the camera again. Throughout, the video’s audio continues uninterrupted. What’s going on here?

After four years, artist Ai Weiwei is finally free to get the hell out of China.

While many Neo-Nazis seem to think they’re the second coming of George Lincoln Rockwell or Heinrich Himmler, they generally bear a closer resemblance to fellow diaper-wearer Baby Huey.

On Tuesday, authorities released dashcam footage showing the traffic stop that preceded the arrest of Sandra Bland, who died mysteriously in Texas jail cell earlier this month.

Authorities in California say they removed more than 1,200 handguns, shotguns and rifles and over two tons of ammunition from the home of a California man found decomposing in a car earlier this week, the L.A. Times reports.

Hello! Were you or was anyone you know or were any of your children ever on Girls Gone Wild? If so, shoot me an email at ashley@gawker.com.

Have you ever wanted to shoot the shit with sentient mint julep and South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham? Probably not—he’s awful! But just in case you want to give him a piece of your mind, ever-worse-human and godsend to the Republican primaries Donald Trump just read off his phone number in public.

Congratulations to 2015 French-language Scrabble champion Nigel Richards, whose qualifications include: five U.S. national titles, three world championships, ability to memorize a large chunk of a French dictionary, and beard. His qualifications do not include: being French, speaking French.

A Wyoming man accused of killing one man and wounding another at a detox center this weekend was reportedly resentful and “hunting” for homeless people he had observed drinking in local parks.

The bravery of comedian Judd Apatow knows no bounds: last night on the Tonight Show, Apatow returned to his favorite topic—rape—and guess what? He’s against it! So bold.

Reddit’s community dedicated to disseminating vicious invective about black people may be safe, but (at least one of) its jew-hating communities has finally gotten the boot. Yes, r/GasTheKikes is finally dead. And not an hour later, r/KikeTown popped right up to take its place.

Yesterday evening, a 30-year-old woman leapt to her death from the 20th floor rooftop bar in Manhattan’s Flatiron District. Patrons of the bar, who were there attending a corporate event, kept drinking after her death, according to the New York Post.

Josh Greenberg, one of two co-founders of the defunct music-sharing site Grooveshark, was found dead in his Gainesville, Fla. home Sunday night. His death was a shock to those who knew him—his mom and girlfriend both said he’d never been sick, and the Gainesville Sun reports police found no evidence of drugs or suicide. Greenberg was only 28.