[The extravagantly-costumed guests of the Vienna HIV charity Life Ball look more like characters from a dream than anyone in Inception. Pic via AP.]

South Carolina mystery candidate Alvin Greene gave his first campaign speech today. Chad Nance has inside knowledge of Greene's campaign and has intereviewed him extensively. He's got some thoughts on today's speech more substantial than: "Haw haw, whatta joke."

New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg was invited to 1,963 events over the last two months. He only accepted 45. Full disclosure: Most of the invitations were from me, just to hang out or something. [NYP]

If there's one thing that's wrong with the English language, it's that there just aren't enough words. Luckily for all of us, former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin invented a new one this weekend, and then compared herself to Shakespeare.

Oil is seeping from the sea bed near the Deepwater Horizon well, and the choke valve may need to be reopened.

There was some serious gangsta on True Blood tonight! First, Sookie's werewolf protector had a jealous ex-girlfriend threatened to shank her. Then Tara's new boyfriend/captor got jealous of Lafayette. Girl, please. Videos of all of the action, inside.

Jessi Slaughter, the 11-year-old vlogger and hate-object of 4Chan trolls, is now the subject of a suicide hoax circulating on Tumblr. The link to the "AP story" actually goes to that dumb Russian singer video. How witty!

Lately, the Tea Party has taken a lot of flak via accusations of racism. Members of the Tea Party, natch, have denied these accusations (best Larry King Live clusterf*ck ever here, as an example). This video proves them wrong.

The cast of Jersey Shore, MTV's reality show about radical situationists, won't shoot new scenes until they get a better deal on their contracts, according to TMZ. Get up, damned of the earth! Get up, slaves of the hunger! [TMZ]

Another "saw this coming" moment: the Taiwanese company famous for its animated reenactments of scandals—from the late-night wars to Al Gore—has made a new one about the iPhone 4 controversy—including the raid on Jason Chen's home. Video inside.

[Ducati rider Aleix Espargaro from Spain, left, wipes the hell out as he passes by already wiped-the-hell-out Honda rider Randy de Puniet, right, from France during the Moto GP race of the Grand Prix of Germany. Pic via AP]

Since almost everyone seems to have decided Inception is the Citizen Kane of the 21st Century, I've decided to play devil's advocate.

So, as it turns out, there are things a person can do that are so offensive it gets him kicked out of the Tea Party movement. One of those things, as Tea Party Express leader and scholar of Islam Mark Williams recently learned, is to write a fake letter from NAACP President Benjamin Jealous to President Abraham Lincoln that reads, in part:

On this special edition of CBS' Sunday Morning, Charles Osgood told us stories about America's obsession with being fat. The obesity epidemic is a heavy subject (ha, get it?), that is costly and effects nearly a third of American adults.

Joe Mande, comedian and creator of "Look At This Fucking Hipster", explains how he was swayed into the dog toy infomercial business through awe and ice picks.

Fearless Gawker wedding correspondent Phyllis Nefler is braving the heat this weekend as well as the picture-perfect pairings featured in the vaunted pages of the New York Times Weddings section. Come along, but beware: Trinity, teachers, and Maine: oh my!

In this extravaganza of awkward silliness, we follow Stella as they traverse the dangers of the softball field. Watch out for angels.

Earlier this week, a funny video went viral of 11-year-old Jessi Slaughter (AKA Kerligirl13) crying while her dad yelled at the people trolling her on the Internet. It's not so funny now that she's been placed under police protection.

32-year-old EMT Jason Green — who was being investigated for denying care to a dying pregnant woman while on his coffee break — was shot and killed early this morning after being turned away from Manhattan nightclub Greenhouse. [NYP]

"Drug hitmen" attacked a party in northern Mexico this morning, killing 17 people with machine guns.