Nick Kroll gives us a character from a warm, fuzzy place in his mind. A place where a man named Fabrice Fabrice works craft services for shows like That's So Raven and CSI: Miami.

Music producer Timbaland reported to police that his $2 million watch was stolen. But after a weird suicide scare today he says the watch hasn't been stolen. Kids: Never buy a watch that someone could very conceivably be killed over.

Vladimir Putin, the world's favorite He-man/Russian President shot a gray whale with a crossbow while riding in a rubber raft earlier today. This is getting ridiculous. How will he ever outdo himself now?

[Michelle Obama appeared to have a laugh at the President's expense today as the couple ordered food from a Martha's Vineyard restaurant while on vacation. Sorry about the crappy weather, guys! Image via Getty]

Ken Mehlman, former Republican National Committee chair and George Bush's 2004 campaign manager, has admitted he's gay after years of rumors and denials. He shouldn't expect forgiveness anytime soon, though, from the gay community he's spent his career trashing.

New Jersey was not among the winning states announced yesterday in the Obama administration's "Race to the Top" contest for federal education funding. The only reason? A single clerical error on its application. And it'll cost the state $400 million.

When it comes to NBC's news-reading Ken doll Brian Williams, we rarely get to see anything below the waist. That's a shame because he says that he's keeping something (ahem) big from viewers.

Portraying a part made famous by his father, Alonso Freeman stars in this short film parody of the Shawshank Redemption. You'll find yourself so excited, you won't be able to sit still or hold a thought in your head.

Today we related to you the story of Meg Whitman's delightful son Will, who threw a crybaby tantrum at Princeton, all over a softball game on a rugby field. One commenter added to the story in a most insightful way.

How lazy are Americans? So lazy we're in search of an easier way to wipe our butts. Meet the "Easy Reach Bathroom Tissue Holder." It adjusts the toilet paper to be closer to you.

[Beyonce and Jay-Z model opposing sartorial strategies on vacation in St. Tropez. Image via INF.]

Teen fashion blogger Tavi Gevinson styled the "Nobody's Daughter" fashion shoot of BlackBook's September issue which—coincidentally—featured Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub's daughter, Christine. Does this look beyond the photos explain Christine's "bored to death" pose?

Common sense says that people don't go on national TV to embarrass themselves or their loved ones. They also don't volunteer to get smacked in the face either. Wipeout seems to be the exact opposite that.

Have you ever been staring at your junk clogged email inbox and thought, "I wish I could talk to all these people on the phone?" No? Well, then prepare to be baffled by yet another weird Google invention.

Is that footlong cheeseburger not getting the job done for you? Try the Carl's Jr. Philly Cheesesteak Burger. A cheesesteak on a bun? No, a cheesesteak on top of a burger. Hey, it didn't make these Legos fat. [Adfreak]

Spoiler alert? 30 Rock's Grizz Chapman tweeted this photo of Kenneth, the beloved NBC page, in full CBS garb. Does this mean we'll finally be rid of Kenneth this season for good? (Probably not.) More TV news inside!

Fox reporter Jennifer Griffin made her first report today after recovering breast cancer from Afghanistan on Studio B. Shep took some time afterward to ask her about her recovery. File under uplifting story of the day.

Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski's surprising, all-but-finalized primary defeat in Alaska last night to the Palin-backed upstart Joe Miller may have opened a November pickup opportunity for Democrats! Sadly, the Democratic party doesn't even know who its candidate is.

Twenty television bigwigs have come together to start up a brand new awards show as a rival to the annual Emmy Awards. But do we really need to replace TV's biggest night?

Yesterday's Attack of the Show! showed the world a wonderful new game. "Wee Wee Kitty" follows a cat who takes to a new form of weed-whacking. Kevin Pereira explains that a certain green appendage leads to success in this game.