Joseph Stiglitz, a Nobel Prize-winning economist, is one of the world’s most influential thinkers in the battle against economic inequality. He’s trying hard to remain optimistic. But it ain’t easy.

A Philadelphia police officer has been suspended after pulling over a driver and threatening to impound his car unless he and his friend purchased tickets to a police benefit. The men in the car caught the shakedown on video, along with the officer dropping some casual homophobic slurs before he let them go.

A few weeks ago on Last Week Tonight, John Oliver exposed televangelists—evangelical preachers whose sole purpose is to get on TV and ask for funds for their ministries—who prey on the sick, poor, and desperate in order to line their own pockets, funding lavish lifestyles that include mansions, airplanes, cars, vacations, and more.

The New Orleans I know from my childhood and the one I know of today are two very different places, partially because my ability to understand it has developed as I’ve aged. The other part is the changing demographics of the city.

The cat is possessed by a water demon, yes?

A Connecticut woman, convinced that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with one of her friends, allegedly keyed each of their cars and punctured their tires. Stamford Police say they established the motive for the crime after trying to make sense of the word “wore” scratched into the paint of the woman’s car and realizing that the culprit was just atrocious at spelling.

Earlier this week, 37 million profiles registered with adultery website AshleyMadison.com were made public. The hack, if nothing else, proved one thing: Everywhere you look, there are aspiring adulterers willing to pay a monthly fee for the option of cheating on their spouse. Everywhere you look, unless, of course, you live in one of the three zip codes in America that have zero Ashley Madison users.

A 12-year-old tripped at a museum in Taiwan this weekend; luckily a $1.5 million painting was there to break his fall. The kid is reportedly fine, the $1.5 million painting, not so much: according to reports, it now has a kid-sized hole in it.

According to records obtained by USA Today, a charity formed by former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle for the supposed purpose of fighting childhood obesity never issued a single grant and spent 60% of its operating budget on the salary of its executive director.

35-year-old Toby Sheldon, the self-proclaimed Justin Bieber lookalike known for his appearances on reality shows like Botched and My Strange Addiction, has been missing since Tuesday, People reports.

Following a complaint by a female student, Olympic and World Championship gymnastics coach Marvin Sharp was arrested in Indianapolis Monday morning on suspicion of felony child molestation, NBC News reports.

Ferguson, Missouri’s newly appointed municipal judge announced sweeping changes to the city’s court system on Monday, including the withdrawal of every arrest warrant issued in Ferguson prior to December 31, 2014, Reuters reports.

A pair of 85 year-old twins in New York City are seeking a crew of “12 to 16 hearty souls” to help them sail a boat around the world until they die, then throw their bodies overboard. Why not?

The most recent Ashley Madison data dump promises to reveal plenty of incriminating information on its widely reviled CEO Noel Biderman. But so far, nothing we’ve found in this newest leak has been quite as imminently painful as Biderman’s 100-page, Ashley Madison-themed screenplay: In Bed With Ashley Madison.

There. See? He meant Asians. Asians are the bad immigrants. Good luck, Jeb!

On Friday, three days after Gawker ran Dee Barnes’s essay “Here’s What’s Missing From Straight Outta Compton: Me and the Other Women Dr. Dre Beat Up,” the New York Times ran a piece that included an official apology from Dr. Dre addressed to “the woman I’ve hurt.” Barnes’s response to Dre’s apology is below.

Good dog.

The great leaflet-inspired standoff is over: North and South Korea have reached an agreement to deescalate tensions along the DMZ. As part of the deal, the South has promised to stop broadcasting propaganda over the border, and the North has expressed “regret” over the mine explosion that injured two Southern soldiers.

Mid-day FINANCIAL PANIC report: after dropping 1,000 points this morning, the Dow shot up 600 points, then down another 400 points, and then up again, and now it’s down less than 300 points on the day. Also diamonds are cheaper now, which is nice.

At least two people in a pool of 37 million Ashley Madison users outed as potential adulterers this week have committed suicide, police say, though it’s reportedly still unclear whether their deaths were a direct result of the hack.