Action toys have finally found a place to vent their emotions: YouTube! These are kind of like excerpts from an R-rated, live-action Toy Story, if there's such a thing. In one, Snow Patrol Commando rants about racism in the workplace:

[Mark Zuckerberg and girlfriend Priscilla Chan stroll near the Facebook founder's home in Palo Alto. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

Look to your left; look to your right. One of the mild-mannered, college-educated people sitting next to you could be harboring a secret McRib Sandwich fetish. Generic machine-shaped pork product addicts are, reportedly, everywhere.

Filter-free madman Carl Paladino, New York's Republican gubernatorial candidate, went on television this morning to explain those anti-gay remarks he made to some Jews yesterday. The takeaway: Hey gays? Carl Paladino's your best friend.

In this video for charity Men For Women Now, Zach Galifianakis tries to get the word out about the importance of annual mammograms. Watch as he bravely battles with nature - it's the breast thing you'll do today.

This is Dexter's first kill since Rita's death, and it needs to be perfect. Unfortunately, it won't be his easiest murder.

Former St. Johns University dean Cecilia Chang got in trouble for embezzling a million bucks and using scholarship students as her personal house slaves. And also: she made a female student escort some old dude to a party. Creepy. [NYP]

She's aping her TV character's love triangle. This actor is cheating with the actress who plays his TV daughter. This actor caught crabs and told his wife they were bedbugs. At least he didn't get them at work.

You would think playing with a skunk would have smelly consequences, but the risks are apparently worth it. Here, a baby skunk plays around in his caretaker's lap. Keep an eye out for an adorable (literal) foot-in-mouth moment at 00:50.

Confidential to Arianna Huffington and Tina Brown: get better ghostwriters.

The recording industry's Chosen One questions the machine that created him. Ashton and Demi "share love" in Israel. George Michael gets out of prison. Crystal Bowersox weds in a hemp dress decorated with seashells. Monday gossip has doubts.

Tonight's Boardwalk Empire finds our Prohibition friends in need. Chalky needs to find a lynching suspect, Jimmy and Al need some Chicago territory, and Nucky just needs to dance. All the Steve Buscemi rug-cutting you could ever want, inside!

Here's a trailer for the upcoming indie Blue Valentine, the Ryan Gosling/Michelle Williams relationship drama that bowled critics over at Cannes with its realistic (read: very depressing) take on a romance that blossoms then rots. It looks... so Brooklyn?

Stieg Larsson inconveniently died before his three Lisbeth Salander Scandinavian nerdo-journodetective-hacker-slasher-porn books became the hottest thing in publishing since Harry Potter. Now, Larsson's brother has confirmed the existence of a fourth manuscript. Or...a fifth manuscript?

If you didn't notice, Abed delivered a baby. His story was just hidden in the background of other scenes. Once again, proving that Community is one of the sharpest and well-written comedies out there. Video compiled inside.

By now, we're all familiar with Brett Favre's cellphone seduction. Who could've seen this coming, what with his "aw, shucks" persona and playing like a kid out there? Turns out the evidence was in front of us the whole time.

Intrepid sex journalist Andrea Peyser has uncovered the latest plot by radical Islamic fascists to brainwash good Christian children into bomb vest-wearing terror robots: a Saturday morning cartoon. With Muslims in it! Isn't that illegal, here in the USA?

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

23-year-old pianist Liu Wei, who lost both his arms as a child, won the first season of China's Got Talent after playing the song "You're Beautiful." He's been invited to go on tour, with a three-month stint in Las Vegas.

GOP dickhead Carl Paladino has prepared a shocking new attack on Andrew Cuomo: He's anti-Semitic!