Barack Obama got so sick of everyone bitching about him that he issued his first presidential pardons today, to nine world-famous murderers who'll eat the guts of every web commenter who types "GROW A PAIR, OBAMA" from now on. Seriously.

Rob Corddry's Childrens Hospital gets a shout-out on Jeopardy, Foursquare might head to TV, it's Jersey Shore's one-year anniversary, and get ready for another Palin on Dancing With the Stars.

U.S. soldiers in Iraq who try to read about the Wikileaks disclosures—or read coverage of them in mainstream news sites—on unclassified networks get a page warning them that they're about to break the law.

Last night while chit-chatting with the lovely Kate Bosworth, Chelsea Handler had herself a little brainfart. We forgive her though, it's got to be hard to keep it together with the girl from Blue Crush smiling at you.

It's true! Soy in your diet raises estrogen levels. Bad news for Paul Scheer on The League. Watch as he progressively gets more and more in touch with his feminine side.

The Way We Live Now: new. And by new, we mean "worse." Saying "new" just kind of makes it seem...shiny, you know? Interesting and maybe even a little adventurous. We're splurging! We're consuming! Even if we can't afford it! Patriotically!

When Facebook users put their mind to it, they can do anything: Now they've banded together to defeat child abuse once and for all. By changing their profile pictures to 90s and 80s cartoon characters!

Britney Spears' ex-husband allegedly has an audio tape of Spears saying her new boyfriend beats her. She recently tweeted in response to the allegations, and TMZ breaks down the story here. The video, and a link to the tweet, inside.

Today at Gawker.TV, James Franco weighs the pros and cons of his Oscar hosting duties, Lance Bass gabs with Andy Cohen about other famous TV gays, and Jon Stewart analyzes Sarah Palin's twitter account (and the media's obsession with it.)

Congratulations to marytown for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

What the hell is this?! You guys, Norm from Cheers is in this. Jason Alexander, Ricki Lake, Huey Lewis, Roger Moore - they're all singing the Beatles' "Let it Be." TONYA HARDING. The list goes on! People, Watch this.

This week Eric Schaeffer went out with an actress he's casting under the pretext that she'd play some character on the date. Hey Eric, you're still single because you're creepy. Watch her awkward rejection as he walks her out.

[James Franco, preparing for his role in "Burly: The Paul Bunyan Story," arrives at LAX. Image via Bauer-Griffin]