[Yes, people, this was Florida today. Temperatures in the 30s didn't keep this dude from surfing or posing for some South Beach snow bunnies. Image via Getty]

The Brits should soon release Julian Assange on bail. Assuming a pending appeal of the bail ruling is batted down, Assange will go rest in a "handsome modern erection" of a manse in the Suffolk, England countryside.

Harvard University now claims that 36 pee-soaked LGBT books are not the work of a homophobic vandal, but a library employee who accidentally knocked over one of the many open containers of urine that apparently litter their campus. WTF?

Today we heard about a filthy college monk orgy. Outrage! Titillation! And, most surprisingly, religious fervor. Like that displayed by this commenter.

The lame centrists of the new political group No Labels now have a syrupy theme song by Akon.

Asshole zebra alert! Here's an angry little striped one at a zoo in Malacca cozying up to his rhino neighbor. And by "cozying up," I mean "bullying." Inside, watch Mister Zebra give Mister Rhino a hell of a bad time.

This video, explaining everything you need to know about a career in journalism, is being passed around the office at the New York Times. You'll see why. Would you like to write about pork belly futures, for a trade magazine?

Comedy Central has debuted a new website for its forthcoming show, SportsDome. Mark Shepard and Alex Reiser will host the show—which will premiere on January 11th, right after Tosh.0's season premiere. Who's ready to "Get Sportsed?"

It sure is fun to make fat jokes about New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, a.k.a. Governor Sandwiches. We're only saying it because it's true, okay? But Fox News' Neil Cavuto disagrees! According to him, it's racist to make such jokes.

This is an important question that Hollywood is scrambling to answer, fairy tale style. Also today: Carrie-Anne Moss moves to the small screen, Torchwood news for you spazzes, and Seth MacFarlane's movie is assembling its cast.

Just in case you wondering, a thing called a "fecal transplant" exists, and saves lives. Like most terrible medical phenomena, we can blame poop transplants on Purell moms and the antibiotic-resistant "superbugs" they hath wrought.

With only 7 more episodes left for Michael Scott, Ellen asked Steve Carrell about his replacement: "I think it would be in their interest to go in a different direction and not try to do the same type of character."

A masked gunman swiped $1.5 million in chips from the Bellagio Casino in Las Vegas early this morning before making his getaway on a motorcycle.

Jimmy Kimmel signs a two-year deal with ABC, Fox benches the remaining episodes of Running Wilde, Greek spoilers, Conan's ratings slip, and brace yourselves for Project Runway: Accessories.

The Washington Post may have added some literary flair to its account of Ambassador Richard Holbrooke's last words, according to the State Department. Did he ominously whisper, "You've got to stop this war in Afghanistan," or was it just banter?

The Way We Live Now: on three legs of a four-legged stool. The majority of the news is good! Retail is good. Prices are rising. Businesses are optimistic. So what if the last element is not in place? Wobbly's okay!

On a special Monday Night edition of Watch What Happens Live, Keenan Thompson and Rebecca Romijn joined Andy Cohen for discussions about the absurd: swimming in the lady-pond, pee-boners, Miley's bong-rips and salvia. Also: Keenan impersonates NeNe and Patti Stanger!

In case you haven't noticed, a pasty fugitive hacker has been at war with the U.S. government for the past few weeks while his minions use the net to attack global corporations. So what's all the fuss about?

TONIGHT: Less than normal, but still a lot! We've got the season finale of The Biggest Loser, plus new episodes of Minute to Win It, Millionaire Matchmaker, NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, 16 & Pregnant, Fashion Show: Ultimate Collection, and more.

Britain's Daily Mail begins holiday heartbreak story with the quote, "We'll sell our toys to pay for daddy's funeral," and the Dickensian drama just builds from there: Mounting debts; the looming prospect of home eviction; and little details like these: