Hey, did you hear that 1,000 blackbirds died and fell from the sky in Arkansas? Nobody knows why it happened! Probably just a normal thing, and not a bad sign. Gonna go stock up the bunker with drygoods...

The Obama administration hasn't exactly heaped laurels on Wikileaks for leaking classified state cables. Joe Biden even called Wikileaks founder Julian Assange a "High-tech terrorist!" But Republican attack dog Rep. Darrell Issa wants Assange locked up now.

A 7.1 magnitude earthquake hit central Chile today, 60 miles northwest of Temuco.

[We're not entirely sure how this works, but tennis stars Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer play on an aquatic tennis court in Doha, Qatar today to promote the Qatar ATP Open Tennis tournament. Image via AP]

Capt. Owen Honors, second-in-command of the U.S.S. Enterprise aircraft carrier, is being investigated for performing in a series of dumb video sketches, which include anti-gay slurs and women showering together. You can watch excerpts below.

Good news from the Snowpocalypse: A man survived a suicide attempt today when he jumped from the 9th floor of a Midtown Manhattan building and landed on a pile of garbage that was left uncollected after the snowstorm. [NYDN]

The Oprah Winfrey Network launched yesterday. New York Times television critic Alessandra Stanley calls it "a place where cynicism takes a holiday and mockery hasn't yet been invented." This will not stand.

A 110-year-old Malaysian man, Ahmad Mohamad Isa, told a newspaper that he was ready to marry for the sixth time because he's lonely and he's tired of sleeping alone. An 82-year-old woman read this, and the sparks flew.

43,869,800 people changed their relationship status to "single" on Facebook in 2010. But just 28,460,516 people changed their status to "in a relationship." So, there are like 15 million Facebook users out there for the taking.

Shania Twain is married... but it's complicated. Some stars have New Year's resolutions. Drew Barrymore buys a house. Lindsay Lohan channels Gandhi. Kathy Griffith

A radio station in Hungary is under investigation by the National Media and Communications Authority for playing the 1993 Ice-T song "Warning (It's On)," because the lyrics "could influence the development of minors in a negative way."

Flooding in the Australian state of Queensland has reached "biblical proportions."

The Capitol, House and Senate buildings were evacuated and fighter jets were scrambled after an airliner didn't respond to radio messages. False alarm, though. What kind of terrorist would try to destroy D.C. when all the politicians are gone, anyway?

Another day, another cop tasering a camel.

[Participants in the annual New Year's Day Polar Bear Plunge at Coney Island run into the ocean. Click through for another picture of very cold people. Image via Getty]

Fresh off his tour of mainland China, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg celebrated the New Year in Taiwan. Above, Zuckerberg and his girlfriend stroll through Taipei's famous Snake Alley market on Thursday. He even stopped for a picture with a fan.

Andrew Cuomo was inaugurated as the 56th governor of New York today.

Some losers who have probably never even been to Disney World are saying that it was a bad idea for Christie to head down there last Sunday right as what ended up being a massive storm churned towards his state. (His lieutenant governor was away, too, in Mexico.) But do not try to make Chris Christie feel bad about about being a good dad. He planned the trip way before any dumb snow storm, so it would be totally unfair to his kids if he had just cancelled it. "I wanted to be there with my kids..." he said at a very defensive press conference today. "I had a great five days with my children."

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2011 is here and so is Oprah Winfrey's OWN Network, her very own television channel. These are the first few minutes of it: an explanation of her mission for the network.