Remember those five thousand dead blackbirds that "rained" on Arkansas? Well, as it turns out, "they don't have very good night vision" and "it looks like maybe they got startled... ran into each other, fell to the ground and died."

Meet Charlotte. She and her presidential placemat are acing US History before she hits kindergarten. The best part? Her Richard Nixon impression.

Tonight, The Daily Show returned from hiatus with an opening segment about President Obama's recent legislative victories under fire. During it, Jon Stewart compared Obama to Star Wars' Luke Skywalker, before many subsequent—and equally awesome—trilogy-related references. Watch inside.

Former vice presidential candidate and reality television star Sarah Palin has remained quiet over the recent repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell. But she may have just made a statement... by re-Tweeting a conservative lesbian's columnist's Tweet about 'homos.'

Pretty Little Liars began its new year resolved to be truthful. Tonight's premiere was devoted to honesty. Relationships between students and teachers were brought to light, secret marriages were revealed, and Emily told her father about her newly realized sexuality.

Tonight, Lifetime aired once of its always hilarious (in the bad way) TV movies, this time about "Craigslist Killer" Philip Markoff. Billy Baldwin was there! Oh, and the TV version of Markoff killed a girl. Watch the murder scene inside.

Women laughing alone with salad. Any questions?

Thieves apparently rented a property adjacent to a Buenos Aires bank, dug a connecting tunnel, and looted the safety deposit boxes. What an original crime! In 1890, when Sherlock Holmes solved it. Get with the program, Argentinian bank.

Have you written something about Aziz Ansari on the internet lately? Because he's sitting in traffic reading what you said.

Jake Denham, a 14-year-old kid from Portland, Ore., got separated from his mother while skiing in below-freezing temperatures on Mt. Bachelor. Luckily, Jake watches survival reality show Man Vs. Wild—and used his reality TV-derived knowledge to survive.

[Las Vegas is better known for Cirque du Soleil than Frosty the Snowman, but residents had a chance to play with the latter after a rare winter storm covered parts of the city with inches of powder. Image via Getty]

Shortly after news broke that Lindsay Lohan left rehab, Dina Lohan issued a statement: "'It's a great day,' Lohan's mother, Dina, told E! Online, confirming her daughter was released." But Lindsay issued her own statement: "I didn't leave." WTF?

Starting today, IFC will air Comedy Death Ray every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night at 10pm. Host Scott Aukerman will interview celebrities and comedians of note—such as Sarah Silverman and Andy Dick. Previews of their interviews, inside.

Rupert Murdoch's iPad newspaper, The Daily, finally has a classy internet domain, TheDaily.com, from which to promote itself later this month. But the site's "coming soon" greeting is not so nice.

Dishes are approved by the Dear Leader but guaranteed not to make you Il. By expanding into Dubai and Amsterdam, the North Korean government's eateries are providing an alternative to arms sales in raising foreign capital. Food not bombs, indeed!

Last night we looked at a crazy sex story out of Seattle involving sisters, a threesome, and a carport. Early this morning, a commenter filled us in on just what the heck was going on there.

Delightful young actress Drew Barrymore recently paid a sweet $6.9 million for this Santa Barbara County home, an 11,000 square-foot behemoth that was originally built for a baroness and comes complete with a tower and 40-foot reflecting pool.

Simon & Schuster is publishing a book titled O: A Presidential Novel this month, by "Anonymous" — supposedly someone with "vast" insider knowledge of the Obama presidency. Will this be the next Primary Colors? Sure! Unless it's a hoax. [via]

Oklahoma State University's student newspaper will begin charging non-OSU people to read it online. That's... bold.

From the Southern wilds of suburban New Orleans comes news of a recent debutante ball that will likely remain unrivaled in Metairie, LA for ages. Why? Because there were dwarfs, a Popeye's food service, and an 8,000 square-foot tent.