[Singer Gwen Stefani taking her kids to the park. And apparently forcing them to wear matching caps. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Click to viewRemember two weeks ago, when "blood libel" was the ancient allegation that Jews murdered children? Those were the days! Now it means "being falsely accused of having blood on your hands," as former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin clarified Monday.

On Friday, Michael Steele was defeated in his effort to lead the Republican National Committee for another term. Worse, he lost to a guy named Reince Priebus! Tonight, Jon Stewart summarized the day's events—and mocked Steele—in farcical fashion.

Either the New Orleans Times-Picayune forgot to replace the dummy text in this headline for their sports section, or they are taking some really commendable editorial risks in their descriptions of playoff games. [via Reddit]

Philly police say they've arrested the "Kensington Strangler," and he's a 21-year-old ex-con named Antonio Rodriguez.

On last night's premiere of Denis Leary's Comedy Central Special Douchebags and Donuts, he tackled America's drug industry. Inside, he lists some of the more popular (and highly-advertised) drugs and the common side effects that come along with 'em.

Forty-seven years ago, President Lyndon B. Johnson needed pants. Pants that fit him better—as he put it—"where my nuts hang... back to my bunghole." Luckily, the phone call where he ordered those pants was recorded. For posterity.

Steve Jobs is taking time off to recuperate again. No one knows when the CEO, and indispensable soul of Apple, is coming back. But three medical leaves make it clear Apple should finally give investors real information about Jobs' health.

Watch this speedy video of a printer being taken apart piece by piece. Now they just need a robot to put it all back together again.

[Michelle Obama was all high fives after Barack, Malia and Sasha finished singing "Happy Birthday" to her while observing Martin Luther King Jr. Day at a local middle school. Image via Getty]

The second season of Funny or Die Presents kicked off on Friday night with a rant about the state of television today. Inside, they promise original programming "sort of like the old Hollywood—before everything went into the shitter."

Today we once again discussed our favorite New York column babe, Andrea Peyser. Luckily there was a noble commenter who rushed to defend her honor. We lowly knaves were much humbled!

This weekend, Jay Pharoah got to make use of another great impression—Will Smith. Add Kenan Thompson in as Alfonso Ribeiro, and make the whole sketch about Will Smith's bad acting and you've got yourself a winner.

SNL's Andy Samberg, who impersonated Rahm Emanuel when he was White House chief of staff, will headline a fundraiser for Emanuel's Chicago mayoral campaign.

Get to know this little critter with the friendliest sounding man in Texas! His feet were made for digging, but his face was made for loving.

A lady in Boston listed her cat on her Census form, and now the cat has been summoned for jury duty.

The newest pint-sized member of Jersey Shore took to Ellen's couch today to talk about her experiences on the show. Ellen grills her about getting naked on the first episode and which of her roommates she has a crush on.

On today's episode of The Talk, the ladies brought their children to watch them...talk. Not surprisingly, the kids lost interest in the first 5 minutes.

Want to hear old people sing Sarah Palin's praises to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"? Well, enjoy this clip of "Sarah Palin Battle Hymn" anyway! It will be our national anthem when Palin becomes president.

Jared Loughner: just another loser who didn't understand Nietzsche.