Fantastic news, lazy-ass men everywhere: a semi-believable new survey says that many women are physically unable to resist jumping into bed with you if you know how to press the magic button. The one that says "Send."

If there are two things that reactionary tabloid sexpot Andrea Peyser enjoys, they are moralizing voyeurism of sexxxy teens, and blanket condemnations of Muslims. Can she combine both in one sexxxy, finger-wagging, drool-flecked column? This is America! (Yes.)

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

[Kevin Smith takes on protesters from the Westboro Baptist Church outside the screening for his church horror movie 'Red State' at Sundance yesterday. Image via AP]

Joseph Kastner—called New York's sixth worst scamming cabbie in a report—is heading to court for ripping off passengers and could be sent to Riker's Island for a month. Harsh! It must really suck to be the #1 worst.

Italian police have found "some very interesting photographs" of Silvio Berlusconi's bunga bunga parties.

[A man walks across a frozen river in Benxi in the Liaoning province of China. Image via AP]

German researchers have published a study claiming that quick naps can help the brain process and retain information. Not that you need an excuse to fall asleep at your desk every afternoon.

Last year's raid on a flotilla of ships headed to Gaza was found to be legal by an Israeli inquiry.

Ann Pettway, who allegedly kidnapped Carlina White as an infant in 1987, has turned herself in, apparently after contacting a police officer on Facebook. She'll face federal kidnapping charges, plus a lot of people wondering what her deal is.

[Designer Thom Browne showed off his Fall/Winter 2011 collection in Paris by staging a dinner. Image via AP]

Click to viewA college student wore a pair of jeans for 15 months and then compared them to a pair he wore for 13 days. They had the same amount of bacteria! So you can postpone laundry one more day. [via]

Tonight'sThe Simpsons went highbrow with the guests (James Lipton, David Mamet, Garry Marshall), and lowbrow with some pointed send-ups of '80s TV. Good episode—even better Lipton appearance!

The Marriott International hotel group won't offer porn on its room TVs in any of its new hotels. Not only that, it's phasing out porn across the entire chain over the next few years. And it's all Mitt Romney's fault.

According to the uploader of this video—which depicts, in real time, a soap bubble falling victim to the elements and freezing solid—you should be somewhere where the temperature is at least five degrees below zero. Brrr! But... science!

Don't try this at home! Actually, don't try it anywhere—ever. Anyway, here's a four-minute video of a Nicaraguan school bus driver literally fording a raging river. Twice! (The bus is full, by the way.) Brave? Idiot? Brave idiot?

Amanda Bennett and her three children were found dead in their home in the small town of Austin, Indiana Friday. For days, Bennett had posted about her marital problems on a local message board, much to the delight of readers.

Jack LaLanne, the fitness guru, juicer pitchman and television host, has died of respiratory failure due to pneumonia at his home in California. He was 96 years old! But, well, that's the power of juice.

They're baaaack! Here's the newest offering from our favorite spoiler-mongers, the Fine Brothers—this time, Benny and Rafi consulted viewer suggestions for their list of 50 comedy movies, the endings of which they ruin for you in three minutes.

Here, stand-up comedian Pete Holmes breaks down exactly what adults can do.