Sarah Palin is too busy cashing checks to attend this year's exciting Conservative Political Action Conference, the Republican Mecca (sorry for the word choice, Republicans) which began yesterday in Washington. What a snub to her fans! Fortunately a Sarah Palin impersonator showed up at the conference today, and that was good enough. Especially since many attendees thought she was the real thing.

It was a strange Valentine's Day at Greendale Community College. Troy and Abed fell in love with theme librarian and when she picked Troy (and then called Abed "weird") it was over. Nobody interrupts Troy and Abed's bromance.

Justin Bieber was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. One gag involved him "shaving" his head. We were shocked by how shocked we were—it was like a freshly clear cut mountain top. Terrifying. Put it back.

Like the finale of one of Tennessee Williams's lesser plays, the scenes of Jersey Shore, played out like a delirious tragedy rather than the greatest sociological experiment of our time. Naturally it all had to do with Sammi and Ronnie and their continued violent love battle.

The feds are taking Operation Payback seriously: In response to the Anonymous attacks on Paypal, Mastercard, Amazon, and other corporations that severed ties to Wikileaks in the wake of Cablegate, the FBI has served more than 40 search warrants and subpoenas as part of an ongoing grand jury investigation into the attacks based in San Jose, Calif. We spoke to one target of the investigation, a 19-year-old woman who lives on the West Coast, anonymously about the FBI raid on her home, her participation in the movement, and the FBI's fundamental cluelessness about the nature of Anonymous.

Wendy went into mommy-mode today as she discussed Taylor Momsen's attire at the Bieber movie premiere. Playing the part of the disapproving mother, she brought up Miley Cyrus as a contrast only to forget her name.

The ongoing War on Smoking, having already eroded your inalienable right to smoke in various public locations of your choice, is taking things to a whole nother level: they are going to quite literally blacklist smokers, refusing to hire them and even mandating piss tests for tobacco, to ensure that smokers remain unemployed, depressed, and smoky.

Next time you decide to sleep in, you'll think twice before letting the cat wander about your room.

Kristina Grosspietsch — Ever since Arrested Development went off the air, we've missed Jessica Walter's scathing insults as Lucille Bluth. Luckily, her guest role on last night's Big Bang Theory was another rich, sarcastic woman ridiculing everyone in her path.

Last night Ryan Seacrest went to his mysterious control room and, though the room shook and the machines groaned and sparked, pushed the drama lever up to 11. Because it was time for the beginning of Hollywood Week! For you Idol neophytes out there (hi Mom), Hollywood Week is the time in a young person's life when a fluffy fun dream turns into cold hard miserable reality — either as failure or as the beginning of terrible stardom. Either they make it through and the fires of their ambition begin to burn a bright, noxious green, or they are snuffed out forever. It's pretty intense! And last night was no exception.

Even as he convalesces at home, nursing whatever mystery ailment he has, Apple CEO Steve Jobs "is staying closely involved in the company's strategic decisions and product development," according to the Wall Street Journal.

On the latest edition of "Justin Bieber's Reflections"—a regular Late Night staple—there was an added bonus: the real Justin Bieber. The Biebs and Jimmy (dressed as Justin) high-five and dance around together in-between the poignant "reflections."

Tired of high-pitched sirens disturbing the quiet peace of the quaint, idyllic burg in which you chose to make your home—New York, NY? Good news. The NYPD is switching from its old screeching siren to a new brand of siren called The Rumbler. It's better because it rumbles!

I was a print journalist and then a blogger. I dealt in words, few of them read, even fewer moving. And it's taken me this long to realize that we live in a visual culture. The words are so much more potent when they're harnessed to graphics, images and video. That's why we made the new Gawker.

Turns out, playing "America, Fuck Yeah!" from Team America: World Police behind the new Captain America trailer makes the world's first avenger look less like a super hero and more like a redneck.

Did rapper Flynt Flossy mention that he loves to dance? Well, he does and he'll prove it. His next single "Oh Yeah, I Also Really Like to Wear Windbreakers" will be dropping in your dreams.

The story in Egypt has taken another hairpin turn—but for the better this time. The protesters have finally kicked out their old man, (ex-)President Hosni Mubarak. He's stepped down and retreated to his estate at Sharm el-Sheik, on the southern tip of the Sinai Peninsula.