Last night on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Topher Grace stopped by to talk about filming his new movie where he discovered he's good at holding guns but scared of holding babies.

What's an extra cruel way to tease the American Idol finalists with wealth and fame only to tear the dream out of their hands one by one until no one is left? Put them in a seriously huge, $100,000/week rental mansion, so they can feel like kings and queens (mostly queens) for a day or two before they are sent tumbling, so so far, back down to miserable wannabe obscurity.

Today at Gawker.TV, see Zach Galifianakis and Andy Samberg's SNL promos, an update with Ted Williams, Michelle Rodriguez has gone batty, Stephen Colbert celebrates Mardi Gras and the just-released trailer for the new season of Real Housewives of New York!

Congratulations to semicarbazone for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame.

We're "reading" the tabloids so you don't have to! This week: Jennifer Aniston gets a much-needed Unsolicited Uterus Update; Brad and Angie are fighting over Park Place and the Boardwalk; and Christina Aguilera is an out-of-control oenophiliac. [Jezebel]

Why is everyone so damn worked up bike lanes, those green strips of pavement that have been popping up all over New York (and causing disputes) in the past few years? A New Yorker scribe is virulently opposed to them, and now everyone seems opposed to him.

Saif Qaddafi, the Western-educated sociopath child of Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi, has some guests staying in his $16 million London sex pad today, while he isn't there. Uninvited guests at that: They're activists who say they'll occupy the mansion "until this property can be returned to the Libyan people."

John Leguizamo stopped by Good Morning America to talk about how his family feels about being the subject of his new Broadway show, and also how Steven Seagal "runs like a woman but hits like a dude."

Terence Brown is a British man who sells The Anarchist's Cookbook—not the original one, but an updated version with information from all the latest terror movements—for $35 on CD-ROM. He was just convicted of violating England's Terrorism Act, and the judge warned him that he will almost certainly go to prison.

Los Angeles filmmakers Fahim Anwar and Aristotle Athiras attempt to comically recreate Tron with whatever they can find around them.

On last night's Conan, Gary Oldman shared his bizarre dream that he'd had the night before about his upcoming appearance on the show. In it, he met a little baby that looked exactly like Sir Paul McCartney.

Not only is director Julie Taymor supposedly leaving Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, but the whole production plans to shut down for a few weeks. Yikes! An unmitigated, unprecedented (no show in Broadway history has ever run this many preview performances) disaster. Well, only creatively for now, but one would think the finances will eventually suffer. That said, is there any knowledge to be gained from this whole mess? Yes, a few things!

In your crumb-sucking Wednesday media column: Morning Joe loves Starbucks for some reason, layoffs loom at AOL, Al Jazeera is coming for your kids, the NYT and Pro Publica have the same interests, and Spike Lee enjoys The Ed Show.

Yesterday marked the occurrence of two somewhat contradictory holidays - how does one reconcile the breast-flashing and "regrettable self-exposure" of Fat Tuesday with the strides women have taken towards gender equality? Says Colbert: "Flash me your advanced degrees, LADIEEES!"

Once again an idiotic college student has brought shame on his fraternity, his school, and possibly the entire Greek system by doing something that confirms every misogynistic frat guy stereotype. [Jezebel]

Being a comic book hero is not enough: Mark Zuckerberg is an action figure too, courtesy of the people who created last year's Steve Jobs action figure. Note the presence of "fuck you" sandals. [MIC Gadget via Mashable]

Today on The View, we learned a lot about Jason Biggs: he's Joy Behar's "long-lost son," he's friends with The Situation, he's been married for three years—and there's a stripper pole in his house. Alright, then!

Kate Moss stole the Louis Vuitton runway show in Paris today by lighting up a cigarette on the runway during the finale. It's amazing that all it takes to be the ultimate rebel these days is to smoke tobacco in public.

New York Rep. Peter King will begin his hearings about The Growing Threat of Radicalized American Muslims in Congress tomorrow. See that, American Muslims? You get hearings now. You can thank Pete King later.