As the audience swoons behind this smooth voiced singer they get a shock when he nearly drops the microphone, basically revealing the man behind the curtain.

Lindsay Lohan hyperventilates and calls the paparazzi "animals." Someone is selling a sex tape of Usher. Charlie Sheen misses his son's birthday party. Britney Spears reunites with K-Fed at her son's baseball game. Monday gossip sucks and blows.

Fidelity Investments knows lots of millionaires, so they were like, "Let's survey them and see how horrible they are." The millionaires came through in a major way. Fidelity's PR team thanks you, you greedy bastards!

This footage that takes us from when Zach Galifianakis introduced Jessie J for the last time to when he appeared on stage with a shaved head claiming that they "did not get to the Mr. T sketch."

If we're judging sexiness by box office receipts (which we are, right?), then werewolves are certainly not the hotties that vampires are. Aliens are doing OK, though! As long as they're evil and we're shooting them, anyway.

These two lady celebs have a lot in common, including their hate for each other. This star is awful to work with. This actor isn't as famous as he thinks. And this star keyed the car door of her famous boyfriend's famous ex. Another day, another feud.

What happens when you mix the Starcraft 2 trailer with an episode of My Little Pony? A tale of death, revenge and rainbows!

Hakuna matata! It means no worries... until you get your head bitten off by your awesome lion friends.

Crimson-hued book retailer Borders went bankrupt a month ago, after many long months of financial decline. It's cause people don't buy stuff at book stores any more, you see.

Homer dips back into his 70's comedy (and ganja) past by capitalizing on the rift formed when Cheech and Chong want to pursue different forms of their usual shtick.

Celebrate pi day by reciting pi along with this girl who clearly has a lot of time on her hands!

From the "You think your local politicians are bad..." department: the mayor, police chief, and a town councilman in the border town of Columbus, New Mexico have been arrested and charged with running an illegal gun-smuggling ring. The mayor allegedly bought dozens of pistols and stored them, and the police chief allegedly bought body armor. The Feds say that much of the material was destined for violent Mexican drug gangs that operate just across the border. Nice.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Bahrain's ruling monarchy, no longer able to contain growing protests, has called in for help from Saudi Arabia. An adviser to the Khalifa family, Nabeel al-Hamer said, "Forces from the Gulf Cooperation Council have arrived in Bahrain to maintain order and security." According to AFP, 1,000 troops from Saudi Arabia's Gulf Peninsula Shield Force entered Bahrain yesterday. This could get ugly.

The revolution in Egypt has done a lot of good for the country and the region as a whole, but there have been some unintended consequences. For instance, what about all of the State Security officers — you know, the ones responsible for terrorizing the general public, running torture centers for decades, and even helping the CIA with its extraordinary rendition program? Suddenly they're out of work! Take former State Security Investigation System agent Hazem Ramzy. He's brandishing his skills on LinkedIn, and is "seeking a managerial position in the safety and security industry." So what are his qualifications? To name just a few:

Speaking to the exiled Tibetan Parliament today, the 75-year-old Dalai Lama asked to be relieved of his political duties, so that a democratically elected leader could take charge. Currently, the constitution won't let him step down. Let the guy relax!

Another explosion hit the Fukushima Daichi nuclear power plant, injuring six as authorities scramble to cool the nuclear reactors and contain a partial meltdown three days after the facility was devastated in a massive earthquake and resultant tsunami. Elsewhere in the northeast, thousands of bodies were found washed up on shore. Here's a roundup of the latest news.

This "hipster trap"—baited with Pabst Blue Ribbon, American Spirits, a bike chain and neon-pink Wayfarers—was photographed by Reddit user gigaface, who encountered the fauxhemian hunter in New York City. Before you object to the choices of bait, remember that having any opinion at all about hipsters or their taste preferences automatically renders you a hipster. (The trap itself, according to gigaface, is made of cardboard.) Full-sized photo below. [Reddit]

We are shocked, shocked to discover that a self-identified UCLA student recorded a goofy racist video in which she expounds the pressing issue of UCLA students of Asian descent using the college library. Shocked! But not, obviously, offended, since she takes great pains to let us know that she's "not the most politically-correct person" and we therefore shouldn't "take this offensively." (It was good to know that, because otherwise we may have been offended by her charming rendition of an unspecified Asian language: "Ching chong ling long ting tong.") The original video has been taken down but is already all over YouTube; we've reached out to the woman identified to us as the narrator and will update if we hear back.