Five Republican congressmen, including comical troglodyte Louie "Terror Babies" Gohmert, are seeking to bar workers who go on strike—and their families—from getting food stamps. Because why should the children of lousy strikers get food?

Just in time for tonight's Jersey Shore finale, Entertainment Weekly has an interview with the show's co-creator SallyAnn Solsano in which she talks about just what's up with the show's spin-offs and shares how much DJ Paulie D is getting paid to play records.

Here's a full-length trailer for Captain America, Marvel's square-jawed "first Avenger" who fights Nazis, particularly those led by the terrifying Red Skull, a guy with a red skull. But ol' Red Skull is not the most terrifying thing in this movie!

After being spotted by the paparazzi wearing some kind of animal on her head, Vanessa Hudgens brought the very-same headwear for Conan to wear. Who wore it best? Conan, of course!

During a demonstration of partner's yoga on the 4th hour of Today, Hoda had a bit of a freakout about her spanx and slip showing. Better her than Kathie Lee!

Scientists have been trying to grow sperm in a test tube for over 100 years, and now they've done it. Researchers in Japan "have made fertile mammalian sperm in a culture dish," reports Nature. The scientists took fragments of mouse testes and coaxed sperm to grow from them in a petri dish; then they injected the sperm into eggs, put the fertilized eggs into mice, and real, live babies came out.

Stephen Colbert thinks America's emotions are far too high right now to be reviewing the safety of nuclear power plants. His suggestion? That we stay calm, keep breathing, and "find the courage to do nothing."

Move out of the way, "Young Guns." A considerably more important three-person clique has emerged in the ranks of America's top Republicans. They are called "The Joe's" — don't know what's going on with that apostrophe, but okay — and they're headlining what they themselves have termed the "Political Event of the Year," a.k.a. any Tea Party fundraiser.

Steroidal workhorse Sylvester Stallone is launching a men's fashion line, also called Stallone, next year. Is it 1989 again?

Nope, this isn't an outtake from some straight-to-DVD Beverly Hills Chihuahua sequel - it's an actual conga line of puppies. Now, if only we could get a few dogs on drumming duties, then we'd have a real party!

Poor beleaguered Barack Obama returned home from a business trip to Latin America only to find the doors to his office locked. Video shows the president whistling away while he tries locked doors and is forced to seek another way into the house. Staffers apparently didn't know the president was coming home so early or something. Uh oh guys, clean up the puke and get the keg out of the bathtub! [ABC15]

On the Today Show, Bradley Cooper was thrilled to talk about The Hangover 2, saying that director Todd Phillips is "at the top of his game" and said that Bangkok is like "Vegas on steroids." Sounds promising!

Here's the email sent out to the campus of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign at 10:41am this morning:

Finally, an anthem for bed wetters everywhere. Apparently in 1990, a bunch of adults and children got together and created this soulful tune in which they refuse to pee-pee the bed tonight.

It's down to the last three chefs, and the fate of who will make it to the final episode lies in the hands of crazy Austrian genius Wolfgang Puck. No one is safe, and someone will be thrown in the gulag—sorry, I meant goulash.

It was rebound time for Survivor: Redemption Island after last week's lackluster effort, so they gave us a slingshot meets lacrosse challenge, which involved balls and nets, so it's close enough. But we'll get to that later.

Among businesses, the initial reaction to the concept of Groupon was: "Give our shit away for half price? Well, it's good advertising." But now, that reaction is changing to: "Give our shit away for half price? Ehhh."

In a sponsored segment by the people at Charmin, the Queen of Jordan herself took to the top of a piano to sing a love ballad to the brand of toilet paper. WTF, indeed.

Fred Karger, the gay activist/Republican operative who just wants to get into a few presidential debates to harass Mitt Romney on national television, is the first Republican to formally file for a presidential run. Uh, good luck!

On Jimmy Kimmel Live, Jake Gyllenhaal talked about his male best friend, who isn't helping the rumors about his sexuality. This friend got caught "fixing Jake's tie" and screamed "yeah, baby!" when Jake won his BAFTA award. That's not fishy at all...