Every once in a while, President Obama has to explain to the nation why he's doing stuff. He doesn't want to do it, because you guys annoy him, and you don't want to listen to it, because Dancing With the Stars is on. But this is how democracy works! And we are currently dropping bombs on Libya, a country (?) in Africa (?), and it is important that you know why we are doing such a thing, because otherwise George Will or someone will whine forever and ever, and also, your tax dollars something something.

Norm tells the story about the time his dad caught him smoking behind the garage and how some old people can try all they want but can't speed up the aging process.

Dogs usually have a monopoly on the whole begging thing, but this kitty is really moving in on their whole cute-for-food operation.

Why stop now? Angry Birds has already taken over iPhones everywhere, next stop could possibly be a theater near you! Check out this really cool trailer if everyone's favorite sling shot heroes made it to Hollywood.

Today we looked at an ancient cave drawing that is clearly a drawing of a dinosaur and thus creationism has been proven. Or has it? One commenter has had it with all these motherfucking drawings in these motherfucking caves.

Kaley Cuoco stopped by the Ellen DeGeneres Show to talk about The Big Bang Theory, but ended up confessing to buying a Shake Weight. If that wasn't enough, her poor word choice opened the door for some hilarious double entendres.

Pretend presidential candidate Donald Trump released his "birth certificate" to wingnut rag Newsmax today to prove that he's an American citizen, unlike Barack Obama. That was nice of him. But where's the real birth certificate? Because this... this thing, this piece of paper with bullshit scribbled all over it, is simply not a birth certificate. Just look at it. This is definitely not a legitimate birth certificate. If it were real, it would be real. Where's the birth certificate, Trump?

On Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Kim agrees to support Scott at his event until her mom/manager tells her it's a bad idea to be seen promoting another product. When Kim goes anyway, her mom confronts her.

Roger Friedman is reporting that the Kabbalah Centre and Raising Malawi—a charity Madonna co-founded with Kabbalah guru Michael Berg—are under investigation by the IRS. According to Friedman, at least two people have been called before a grand jury to answer questions about both organizations.

WorldStarHipHop.com is an extremely popular online one-stop shop for rap videos, sex videos, and ripped off random ass videos of disturbing occurrences in fast food outlets. It may not be as "classy" as other video sites like, uh, YouPorn, but it's making a pile of money for its founder, Queens high school dropout Lee O'Denat, a.k.a. Q.

Louis Garrett is quite the crafty soul. While dressing up his mannequins he decided his next big project needed to be a panty quilt. Now he has a throw made from only the finest, 'classiest' used panties.

Cash-stripped Erie County Holding Center in upstate New York is generating some capital by advertising to detainees on television sets in their holding cells. They estimate they can make about $15,000 a year selling ads to their rather, um, captive audience.

With impressive animation, a great soundtrack, and a few adorable dogs, this video makes "dog boarding" seem almost real. Your dog can not only fetch your news paper, it can help you nail a sweet Ollie. Man's best friend, indeed.

Roy Moore, the Alabama Supreme Court Justice who was removed from office eight years ago for refusing to get rid of a Ten Commandments monument he commissioned, is "preparing to launch a presidential exploratory committee." Finally, a decent candidate.

On America's Next Great Restaurant, the judges are also the eventual investors of the winning restaurant idea... but while its understandable for them to be harsh when they're money is involved, Chipotle founder Steve Ells seems to take it to the next level.

A group of teens who were attending a Fort Lee, NJ house party over the weekend were put in a police van by officers busting the fabulous fete and then just... forgotten about. The kids were only let out, after a miserable twelve hours, because a passerby heard them screaming and banging on the windows.

Fans at an Ottawa Senators game 'randomly' broke into a pretty cheesy dance routine to "Friday" at a recent game. Where, oh where will this song pop up next?

These Sunday talk show hosts are so mean, the way they exploit Sen. Joe Lieberman's incurable love of endless war everywhere for a mini-scoop or two every week. Here's Fox News' Chris Wallace asking the despised Connecticut lame-duck yesterday, "What should we do about Syria?" Not a very subtle leading question, Chris Wallace. We all know that Joe Lieberman would sell his skin, teeth and bones for a few (million) bombing sorties over Damascus that he can watch on television, with his pants down.

Politicians in Queens, New York are trying to ban the distribution on the street of cards advertising prostitution. Thus far unnoticed: Victoria's Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio's image being used on some of them. [Jezebel]

Last week, we noted the growing backlash against the mighty Groupon by businesses (and employees) who are starting to think that Groupon's offerings aren't so great. More plainly: some believe Groupon and its clones should all be destroyed.