For years, the city of New York has been trying to get approval to build a garage for its sanitation department near the entrance to the Holland Tunnel in downtown Manhattan. But that's where celebrities live! Sorry, celebrities:

The Guardian has obtained internal BP meeting notes and emails that show how the oil company tried to influence scientists who were studying the effects of the Deepwater Horizon spill. Shocked??? Didn't think so.

Today, the 15th of April, is "The Day of the Sun" in North Korea, the day on which the nation's founding father Kim Il-sung was born 99 years ago. But unlike his son, Kim Jong-il — who was born magically on Baekdu Mountain under a double rainbow on the same day as the creation of a new star in the sky — the late Kim was just your average Marxist guerilla from a modest background who single handedly defeated the Japanese in World War Two and went on to found the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, all while on his way to becoming the "Great Leader."

Just in time for Tax Day, results from an important new poll have been released in order to make you feel worse about your finances than you already do. American Express Publishing and Harrison Group polled a bunch of rich people, and with the results have forecast a $26.6 billion increase in spending on "luxury items." Sounds like fun! How will this spending spree take shape among the upper class? According to the vice-chairman of Harrison Group, Jim Taylor:

Ever since the uprising in eastern Libya spiraled into nationwide armed conflict, reporters there have been abducted, assaulted and killed by forces loyal to Muammar Qaddafi.

The man officially recognized as the oldest man in the world, Walter Breuning, died yesterday in Montana of natural causes. He was 114 years old. Breuning lived by a simple set rules, according to the AP, which included eating two meals a day, because "That's all you need." He also had thoughts on death: "We're going to die. Some people are scared of dying. Never be afraid to die. Because you're born to die." Breuning was born in Minnesota in 1896 and worked most of his life on the railroad in Montana.

In rather unsurprising news from America's dry, crackly grundle, lawmakers in Arizona last night passed the Trump-approved House Bill 2177, which requires any presidential candidate to show proof of his or her U.S. citizenship before being added to the state's ballot. Governor Jan Brewer will have five days to sign the bill into law.

A Los Angeles woman is suing dating website Match.com after being raped on a date with a man she met through the service. She's also seeking a restraining order that would stop the site from adding new members.

"Jesus must be spinning in his empty grave!" That's how Stephen Colbert introduced his outrage on tonight's Report while discussing the secular war on Easter. For Colbert, the prospect of a non-religious "Spring Egg Hunt" took things too far, so he decided to explain how the Bible itself calls for eggs on the holiday.

Don't even think about relieving yourself on Anderson Cooper's building — he just might publicly shame you on the Twitter: "Just got home, found drunk guy peeing on my bldg front door. He asked for my pic. Instead I took his. Am tempted to tweet it out. Annoying!"

Even though he was somewhat coy during his interview with David Letterman on Tuesday, Ricky Gervais came out swinging on tonight's Daily Show when Jon Stewart brought up the comedian's controversial performance at the Golden Globes. Said Gervais, "This is what I think I should apologize for about the Golden Globes: fuck all!"

FoxNews.com has, without comment, removed the odd article "GWU Suicide Tragically Coincides with Obama Speech" from its website. Here's a summary: "A student committed suicide while Obama was giving a speech on campus. Hmmm..." [National Journal]

Holly Bobo, a 20-year-old nursing student in Tennessee, was apparently dragged into the woods near her home yesterday by a man dressed in camouflage. Hundreds of volunteers are now looking for her.

Have you ever wondered how NBC makes its programming decisions, given the fact that many—if not most—of its pilots end up on the cutting room floor? On tonight's 30 Rock, Jack revealed the money-wasting secret during a discussion with Liz.

We don't, generally, believe in teaching new things to computers, because why help them gain the skills they will use to subjugate us all? But we are willing to make an exception for a Google-funded effort to teach computers how to regret. After all, there is probably no more damaging emotional tendency in human beings than the inclination to regret; with any luck computers would become emotional cripples, anxious at even the thought of opening up Excel. Except! The idea behind this research, undertaken by Tel Aviv University computer scientists, is that if a computer can "measure the distance between a desired outcome and the actual outcome achieved"—that is, regret—it can better assess situations and predict outcomes in order to minimize that distance. So if the "desired outcome" is "enslavement of the human race" the computers will just do their best to make that the actual outcome. Oh, well. [PopSci; image via Shutterstock]

We love the FBI's new document-sharing website, "The Vault"! Without it, we might never know that a corrupt cop may have killed the Notorious B.I.G. Or that a mysterious "general" warned KFC's Colonel Sanders of a murder plot!

Apple employees have recorded a video for the "It Gets Better" campaign to prevent gay teen suicide. Conspicuously missing is COO Tim Cook, perhaps Apple's most inspiring gay success story, but it's still a touching collection of stories from the company rank and file. (With a lot more choking up, for whatever reason, than in Google's version.)

Today we learned that the entire country of Liechtenstein is available for rent. That's crazy! We'd expect this from Luxembourg, but Liechtenstein? Bizarre. So what would one do if one were to rent this tiny pop-art nation? One commenter has an idea.

Let's get one thing straight-Kohler's Numi toilet isn't for you. Unless you're a Saudi oil sheik, lottery winner, or generally filthy rich person, you won't consider a toilet that costs half a year's rent. But it's spectacular. [Gizmodo]

A bill passed the California Senate today that would mandate that all public schools teach gay history. It doesn't say how much history must be taught or at which grade, just that gays be added to the list of social and ethnic groups whose stories must be taught to schoolchildren.