The New York City Department of Transportation is installing signs that flash this supposed-to-be-scary skeleton to drivers going over 30mph. Do you really think this Halloween decoration is going to slow drivers down? Our pigeons are more frightening.

Your crush from the early '90s is in trouble and he needs your help. Particularly if you are an executive at Fox television. Also today: NBC announces some new shows, Craig Kilborn is back in the game, and Stephenie Meyer wins again.

Some Yale undergrads dug through the cell phone, email and Facebook accounts of a classmate as part of a project, then posted what they discovered on a website for all to enjoy. Shock discovery: Yalies are obscenely well-connected.

Daryl Hawks, the 38-year-old sports anchor for NBC's Chicago affiliate, was found dead in an Atlanta hotel room today. Hotel employees reportedly found his body after he missed his wake-up call. Police say there's "no reason to believe foul play was involved." Hawks was in Atlanta to cover the Chicago Bulls' NBA playoff game tonight. [Sun-Times]

Guess whose turn it is now to accept a fat welfare check from the world of conservative publishing imprints? It's Donald Trump's turn, naturally! The skinny-mouthed death hologram has signed on with Regnery Publishing — the folks behind bestsellers from Michelle Malkin, David Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, and whoever else sucks — for a "policy book," to be written on a crash schedule and released late this summer.

Dan Adler, a former Disney executive running for Congress in L.A., has released the Jim Belushi SNL skit of campaign ads. In a bid to reach Asian constituents, Adler, a Democrat, saunters into a laundromat where a Korean lady screams, "I HAVE ISSUES! MEDICARE! I'M KOREAN!" Then, some unusually straightforward race-pandering:

Hey, how about a totally unsubstantiated crazytown story, from the internet? It's about an advertising executive's penis! Oh, now you're interested. Well then, fine.

Cleaning up after college kids is lucrative. A profile in The Daily Beast reveals that Kia Grasty, cheerful custodian of Penn frat houses, makes $140,000 by mopping beer from rich kids' floors.

Reports of Osama Bin Laden's death consistently mentioned a daughter, aged 12 or 13, who may have watched him die. What do we know about this girl, her life, and her future? [Jezebel]

The Senate Ethics Committee has uncovered extensive evidence that former Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) and others broke U.S. law by trying to cover up an affair Ensign had with a campaign aide, the wife of one of his top Senate staffers.

In your peerless Thursday media column: Bill Keller twit-muses, Jim Lehrer is leaving, a National Magazine Award is controversial, more on the NYT's Week in Review revamp, and the internet spawns another millionaire.

Yesterday afternoon, a reader sent us an alarming tale of the perils of love in the big city.

Pop music thingamajig Lady Gaga published her first V magazine column and boy is she trying to school readers. Not only do they get a lesson on how she came up with her "Born This Way" video, but also a lecture on art, fashion, and literature.

It's like the opening of the Stasi files after the Berlin Wall fell: Yesterday, Scientology defector Marty Rathbun published the cult's surveillance file on Washington Post reporter Richard Leiby. Today, we're publishing a glimpse into its spying operation against Mark Ebner, one of Scientology's most persistent critics.

Paranoid egoists do everything they can to control the people in their inner circle. Wikileaks founder Julian Assange's tactic is to cajole associates into a blackmail-friendly, $20 million nondisclosure agreement.

Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels should have joined the presidential race by this point. Economic conservatives like him, he's beginning to mend fences with social conservatives, his close friend Haley Barbour won't run against him, and most importantly, the D.C. establishment glorifies him as a very serious, fiscally responsible Grown-Up. So what's the hang up? Mostly, he and his wife Cheri don't want to read long exposes about their unique marital history for the next two years. And certain other, shady candidates are trying to exploit this vulnerability and scare him off.

Our heart goes out to all those unfortunate American Dreamers who invested everything in buying a home some time in the past five years or so, only to see it all blow up thanks to the mortgage meltdown.

Here's a trailer for Horrible Bosses, the new star-studded comedy about a trio of unhappy dudes who decide to kill their, well, horrible bosses. The cast is great (Charlie Day! Colin Farrell! Aniston!) and the concept is fun, so why does it look so... dull?

Last night marked the start of the Cannes Film Festival, Hollywood's paid vacation to the south of France. So, who's currently caught up in the collision of blockbusters and indies? Oh, just about every star on earth. Here are just a few.

"Like Brett Baier, I know the lyrics of 'Rappers Delight' too." — Sarah Palin on Fox News last night, explaining that while she dislikes the evil rapper Common, she isn't "anti-rap" at all. She knows the first rap song!