The deadline for raising the debt ceiling—after which the U.S. is likely to default—is August 2. President Obama's birthday is August 4. Coincidence? Not according to America's stupidest congressman, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R - Texas)!
Poor President Obama just can't catch a break. Earlier today, the president entered the White House Rose Garden to announce that he'd tapped Richard Cordray to head the newly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. But then he told a bad joke about Cordray's past as a Jeopardy! contestant. And nobody laughed. And it was sad.
You know how when you went to house parties in high school, the host would always say, "Don't go into my parent's bedroom, otherwise I'm dead"? Well! Tyler Hadley, 17, was arrested for murdering his parents and then hiding their bodies in the master bedroom while he threw a 60-person party.
The Online Dermatology Journal has a fascinating paper concerning "Pseudomamma on the foot," which is to say "An unusual presentation of supernumerary breast tissue," which is to say: This woman grew a goddamn nipple on the bottom of her foot. There it is! You can see it for yourself! A foot-nipple!
How bad are things looking for News Corp CEO Rupert Murdoch in the wake of the News of the World phone hacking scandal? This bad: If he screws up enough during Tuesday's parliamentary hearing, he may be replaced as CEO by jauntily-mustachioed COO Chase Carey.
In today's little bit of authoritarianism we can get behind: Philadelphia is going to start handing out citations—and $120 fines—to pedestrians who "text while they walk without looking ahead."
The hacking group LulzSec appears to be back, with a very timely hack of Rupert Murdoch's British tabloid The Sun—the sister publication of the dead News of the World. And they warn, ominously, that they've got emails, too.
Goldie Hawn and her longtime paramour Kurt Russell have been renting out their Malibu mansion for a little while, but now they've decided to just go ahead and sell. For a whopping $14.7 million.
A faded American favorite is getting a second chance, from the famous giver of second chances. Also today: bad news about Charlie Sheen, good news about a ghost story, and Breaking Bad breaks out.
Here it is, Rebecca Black's new single: "This Is My Moment." That she released it on a Monday says a lot about how ready she is to move past "Friday." Good luck with that!
Football brain! Marijuana narcs! Mosquito booze! Grandparents driving! Children sleeping! Teens drinking! Pediatricians lecturing! Big forks! And killer homemade drinks that kill! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—no-nonsensically!
Remember Rachelle Friedman, the aerobics instructor whose bridesmaids pushed her into a swimming pool, resulting in paralysis and an inability to marry, lest her fiance's income push her over the limit for Medicaid? After a year of physical therapy and a series of charitable donations, she is finally getting married. The AP reports:
It's probably not a good idea for us to step into the fray of unresolvable intra-wingnut disputes, but this clip from the Sunday version of Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends, excellently displays the social conservatives' main problem with the presidential candidacy of one Willard "Mittens" Romney: He's a Mormon, which the social cons do not merely consider a fake form of Christianity, but not a form of Christianity at all.
cops were injured by "friendly fire" while trying to apprehend a child pornography suspect while he attended a midnight screening of the most recent Harry Potter movie. There are so many inappropriate "wand" jokes to make right now.
Hey did you know that county-level Medicaid administrators in Ohio aren't vigorously vetting the applicants who seek their services? Thank God for James O'Keefe, the only journalist in the nation with the sheer guts to tell this bone-chilling tale of county bureaucrats failing to diligently do their jobs.
