A small town in Alabama is offering non-violent offenders the choice between doing prison time and paying a fine, or working their sentence off by going to church every week.

The early glimpse we got of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in the upcoming The Dark Knight Rises was troubling, but not that troubling. Well, get ready to be actually troubled by new production photos in which we see the full pussy.

Anonymous is on the hunt for the cop featured in a video pepper-spraying Occupy Wall Street protesters for no apparent reason. They say they've found him, and are circulating a document with his and his family's personal information. This could get ugly.

Americans are not the sort of slobs who are satisfied with simply consuming a drab, tasteless burger in a hobo-infested fast food restaurant hastily rebranded as a "cafe." Americans are the sort of slobs who want their burgers fast—but casual. Americans want a slightly wider selection of toppings available on their burgers, and they want to consume those burgers in a very slightly more attractive setting than a Burger King bathroom. Americans demand this!

Which Republican politician's turn is it next to be summoned into the presidential race and then immediately dismissed and hated by the party base over a pragmatic policy stance or two? Perhaps the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, who still has no interest in running for president but may be kidnapped in the middle of the night by a few whiny hedge fund managers and reprogrammed (forced at gunpoint) into "taking the plunge."

Here's a trailer for Joyful Noise, the new church choir movie (yes) that stars Queen Latifah (yes!) and Dolly Parton (yessssssss!). So basically this is the buchest, straightest movie of the year!

Fox News' favorite media reporter, NewsBeast's Howie Kurtz, has a new piece out about how Roger Ailes has gone soft, "repositioning" Fox News to be less overtly racist and "pull[ing] back a bit on the throttle" of inchoate conspiratorial rage directed against Obama. Kurtz's source for this objectively verifiable fact is Fox chief Roger Ailes, so you know it's true.

A computer programmer testing the "Infinite Monkey Theorem"—that, with enough time, a monkey randomly mashing a typewriter would eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare—says his virtual monkeys will soon complete the works, way ahead of their infinity deadline!

We all know the economy is bad, but how bad is it? So bad that New Yorkers can't afford to shovel blow into their faces like its closing night at Studio 54. Damn, that's really bad. But is it true?

A hacking group took over USA Today's twitter account this weekend and did absolutely nothing fun with it at all. Why do hackers who gain the power to screw with hundreds of thousands of people have to be such humorless famewhores?

I can imagine last year at the Emmy's when Mad Men won for the third year in a row that all the networks execs were sitting around thinking, "We need to get us a Mad Men!" What came out of that thought is ABC's Pan Am, but their sweet '60s nostalgia lozenge isn't anywhere as easy to swallow as the original.

Fashion magazines have never taken seriously the idea of a "Chinese Wall" separating advertising and editorial. That's not their thing. Their thing is fashion! Still. Much like kids these days, fashion magazines are selling out more spectacularly than ever.

J.Lo parties until 3:30AM, and looks like she might be straining herself. LuAnn de Lesseps dances on a table. Who stole David Copperfield's precious magician award? Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger need three larger-than-life bronze statues of himself? Monday gossip goes too far.

The lions of Pride Rock reigned supreme again this week — even golden lion-human Brad Pitt couldn't dethrone them. And Pitt was almsot defeated by a dolphin as well. What do the animals have against Brad Pitt??

This TV host and his boyfriend carried out a scheme to bilk an older actress out of her money. This former teen star is a giant mess. And this talk show host can't let the public know his wife is cheating. But is she cheating on him with an older actress for money?

The Occupy Wall Street protests took a heated turn this weekend, with cops arresting more than 80 protesters macing young women for no apparent reason. So, it's safe to say they'll be bigger than ever this week. But one problem looms large: The protesters are camped out on private land.

You like your precious "free checking?" I bet you do. More like freeloader checking. Sadly, your "free checking" is hurting the needy banking industry, which is why it is going to disappear.

New York City is the world's greatest cultural melting pot, so it stands to reason that its police force would be a beacon of tolerance and understanding. Right? Sorry. It turns out some NYPD officers may be racist.

After spending 26 years in a Texas prison for murdering a guy, Randall Lee Church became a free man in April 2011. As it turns out, however, he didn't care for freedom very much. We can't really blame him.

Our favorite Internet place for watching the stars of tomorrow and the stars of yesterday is reportedly preparing to launch at least a dozen new channels in 2012. Unlike Vevo and other existing "channels" that offer whatever unscheduled clips, these new channels will be just like TV channels, with scheduled programs and, one hopes, seemingly endless commercial breaks. Apparently Google, which owns YouTube, wants to pull folks away from their televisions and toward their computer screens? As long as people are staring at some kind of screen, everything will be okay.