There is much confusion on the internet over whether or not Radiohead will be playing a "secret" show for the protesters in Lower Manhattan at 4pm. So we decided to check it out ourselves.

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Sgt. Matthew W. Simmons, an active duty member of the Marine Corps Band, may be breathing a bit easier today because a military court ruled that it was fine and dandy that he filmed some gay porn movies wearing pieces of his Marine uniform. Wow, "don't ask, don't tell" fell and now soldiers making gay porn is just hunky dory.

Well now HERE's something wacky: even though white folks in America are losing the baby-having contest, our numbers just keep rising on the latest census. Why? Because we run that shit. But also: everyone wants to be white!

It seems there was a surprise visit during a recent taping of Real Housewives of New Jersey. New cast member Melissa Gorga had a run-in with her old boss from Lookers, a strip club. Yooops!

The third quarter fundraising deadline for presidential candidates is today, today's the day! If you are subscribed to President Obama's campaign email or text message alert lists, you're well aware of this, because you are constantly getting emails and text messages with cutesy variations of, "So how bout those dumb Republicans, eh? Want to have dinner? Give us money right now." Here's the official recorded history of this aggressive blitz, going back a couple of weeks.

In your mordant Friday media column: Judith Miller critiques someone else's journalism, the Occupy Wall Street Journal is coming, the NYO begs for a raise, Slate redesigns, and Jill Abramson wants questions from you.

Bank of America's web site has been intermittently down today, which happens to be one day after the company announced a new policy of charging customers for the right to access the money that they gave to Bank of America (think of it as a negative interest rate).

On this episode of our little internet talk show Gawkerazzi we take on the craziness of Lindsay Lohan in Milan, Nicki Minaj's chicken wing necklace, and Jennifer Lopez wrestling a turkey. Please join us while we jeer at celebrity fashion.

Gawker Book Club is back! Today, we bring you an excerpt from Sad Monsters—an illustrated book of "humorous stories about the undead ... and the unloved"—written by Colbert Report staff writer Frank Lesser, and illustrated by Willie Real.

For the first time in two years, Americans' income fell last month. The drop was a meager .1%, but it was accompanied by a .2% increase in spending, which means your costs went up by twice the amount your pay was cut. But don't worry, because analysts estimate that corporate earnings of the S&P 500 companies will increase by 13% this quarter, so maybe you can borrow some from them? Just blue-skying here.

After the last dispatch of Jersey Shore, the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we thought Snooki's boyfriend was gone for good, until he wasn't. We then thought Deena was pregnant, until she wasn't. The Situation was a dick and Vinny has a big one, but we know that already.

Mitt Romney is still pretending to be an immigration hawk for the purposes of destroying Rick Perry, who as Texas governor signed a law offering in-state tuition to children of illegal immigrants.

You know that Radiohead concert at Occupy Wall Street today? The Wall Street Journal now reports that a spokesman says performance is "officially not happening," despite organizers' claims on their website and in a press release.

We've been telling you about "Jailbait" the grossest section of the message board Reddit for a while. Now CNN has "discovered" the dark heart of internet nerds' favorite hivemind.

Here's a trailer for the upcoming thriller Contraband, one of those he-got-out but he needs to get-back-in thrillahs that are just pretty damn by the book at this point.

America's saddest divorce has its saddest development yet today. Also: Patrick Schwarzenegger is in trouble, Jack Osbourne is getting hitched, and Rihanna has genitals.

As maybe the largest-ever gathering of Tea Partiers commences in Illinois this week, congratulations are due to Mr. Steve Stevlic, the activist without whom TeaCon 2011 would be impossible. Stevlic is the head of the Chicago Tea Party, one of the con's primary sponsors. In the words of radio host and National Review columnist Mark Levin, Stevlic's "terrific." According to CBS, he's the "Democrats' nightmare."

Interchangeable pseudofood joint Chili's—intent on "spicing up its brand"—is spending millions on a new ad campaign, one part of which is summed up thusly by the company's ad genius: "How he behaves is bold, how she behaves is bold, and the food we're featuring in the spot is boldly flavored."

This leading lady dropped her man, and now she's dropping her Twitter handle so that it won't remind her of him. This actress got her famous ex to buy her a house and is paying him back with dirty interest. Life is so crazy in #Hollywood.