The weather doesn’t care how you feel about it. So the question of how you ought to feel about the weather—specifically, about the wave of warmth that covered the eastern United States this past weekend, and that promises to linger through Christmas—is a human question. What does a warm December signify?

After the shooting death of NYPD Officer Randolph Holder, New York City’s programs focused on providing offenders with alternatives to prison time have come under new scrutiny, the New York Times reports today. Opponents of these programs are welcome to debate against their merits (they’d be wrong about that too), but they cannot claim in good faith that the programs had a single thing to do with Holder’s death.

The public school systems in New York and Los Angeles both received bomb threats today, but only one city took it seriously. So why did 640,000 California kids get the day off while New York’s youths had to spend a lovely 60-degree day in class? Credulity.

Imperial Tobacco Group, the maker of Kools, Winstons, Cohibas, and Gauloises, is changing its name to Imperial Brands, in order to remind the world what the company is really about: brands.

The new Star Wars movie reportedly passes the Bechdel test. Doubt that.

Paul Ryan’s “daily gym workout is from 6:30 am to 8 am: P90X, yoga, crossfit, cycling/spin.” Every fitness nightmare made flesh. Appropriate.

Last night, the latest installment of the beloved sci-fi incest franchise Star Wars had its world premiere. Tonight, a small army of attention-hungry presidential hopefuls are going to be yelling at us on CNN. How can we be sure these desperate men and Carly Fiorina won’t slip a spoiler in, effectively ruining the entire set of films that gave us beloved characters like Spock and Mulder? Apparently, we can’t.

A new study finds that the majority of people who were billionaires in 1995 are no longer billionaires. What happened, billionaires???

“Feed me a line,” failed HP CEO and presidential candidate Carly Fiorina says through gritted teeth as an army of tiny pups squirms in her lap. She is visibly uncomfortable—irate even. But she is smiling a wide-eyed, crazed smile. In a few seconds she will be eating dog food. This is Carly Fiorina’s attempt at being human.

Following an incident last week in which several cadets dressed up like the Ku Klux Klan, The Citadel military college is investigating claims that some cadets have been “harassed.” In a statement to The Post and Courier, The Citadel declined to provide any information about who was harassed and why, but it’s not hard to fill in the blanks there.

A Maryland man told the FBI they should be thanking him after they discovered he’d received a series of electronic payments from ISIS this summer. For some reason, the FBI disagrees.

More than half a million Los Angeles Unified School District public school students were kept home Tuesday after a district board member received what authorities are describing as a “credible terror threat.”

The issue that the most Americans regard as the most important one facing our country right now is terrorism. Fear is more powerful than reason. Not that there has ever been a reason to doubt that.

As news of the San Bernardino shooting broke, three soldiers dressed in plain clothes decided it was the right time to start touring North Carolina elementary schools, asking “suspicious” questions and generally freaking everyone out.

Days after a reporter at The Las Vegas Review-Journal wrote an article wondering aloud who his own boss was, the owner of Nevada’s largest newspaper remains a loud, glaring question mark.

A group of nearly 2,000 professional physicists and astrophysicists have signed a letter, drafted by members of the Equity & Inclusion in Physics & Astronomy Facebook group and addressed to the Supreme Court justices, repudiating the lines of questioning put forward by Justices Antonin Scalia and John Roberts which implied that affirmative action disadvantages black students by putting them in situations they are not equipped to handle, and that furthermore diversity has no role to play in the ostensibly objective world of science.

Tonight at a Donald Trump rally in Las Vegas, another black person was shoved around while protesting the American hate leader—and this time, a rally attendee called for the black person to be immolated.

Is this really necessary?

Once upon a time, a young man was known as the biggest fan of The Princess Bride all through the land. The man could recite every line in The Princess Bride, he could mimic the characters, and he could do all of this in public settings, to the cheers of his adoring devotees.

The town of New Hartford, New York, acting on behalf of its “extremely fearful” residents, has filed a lawsuit against the Word of Life Christian Church seeking to have it enjoined as a public nuisance. In November, eight people were indicted in the October beating death of one of the church’s members.