The entire Augusta County, Virginia, school district will be closed Friday, a week after one teacher touched off controversy by issuing an assignment to students, during a block study of world religions, asking them to copy an example of Arabic calligraphy—the Islamic statement of faith, or shahada.

ProPublica and The Atlantic published a lengthy piece Thursday on the investigation that took down the AFO cartel—and led to the rise of the Sinaloa cartel: “Asked what could have been done better, the agent said, ‘I don’t know. I wish I’d gone to law school instead.’”

The Global Affairs class New York Times columnist David Brooks has taught at Yale three times in the past three years, “Humility,” will not be offered again next semester, Gawker has learned. In its first iteration, in Spring 2013, the reading list for “Humility” included some of Brooks’ own columns.

On Thursday, Mayor Bill de Blasio announced “the most comprehensive street homeless outreach effort ever deployed in an American city.” The city estimates there are between three and four thousand people living on the street. The program will be called “HOME-STAT,” a reference to the NYPD’s COMPSTAT program.

“As artisanal food surges in popularity...the Mast Brothers’ story highlights how a company can have great success selling a product of dubious quality as something ‘artisanal’ or ‘handcrafted’ with beautiful packaging and handsome, bearded founders.” Ten dollar chocolate is worse than Martin Shkreli.

On Thursday, the Huffington Post’s senior politics editor, Sam Stein, reported on Twitter that the upcoming State of the Union will be a “non-traditional speech,” citing a senior administration official. What does that mean? Here are some ideas:

Before he was hauled away by FBI agents for allegedly using various investors as pawns in what essentially amounted to a long Ponzi scheme, pharmaceutical dillweed Martin Shkreli did what he does frequently: sit in front of his computer and livestream on YouTube nonsensically. As people have gone back and reviewed his last hours of freedom, two puzzling mysteries have emerged from the otherwise banal footage.

Enrique Marquez, a friend of San Bernardino attacker Syed Farook, has been charged with multiple terrorism-related charges for his alleged role in supporting the mass shooting. According to officials, Marquez admitted to purchasing the assault rifles that Farook and his wife Tashfeen Malik used in the attack that killed 14 people this month.

Earlier today, the 31 year-old owner of a pizza shop in Rochester—one of the very first Americans to ever be accused of recruiting for ISIS—pleaded guilty in federal court.

Today federal agents arrested 19-year-old Jalil Ibn Ameer Aziz of Harrisburg, PA on charges of attempting to aid the Islamic State and spreading its recruitment propaganda across his 57 ISIS-themed Twitter accounts.

Yeah I saw it and it was a good musical and all that but come on.

The federal indictment against Martin Shkreli suggests a lot of things about the reviled 32-year-old CEO. Chief among them: He was great at convincing people to give him money, but not very good at investing it. And when it came time to pay people back, he repeatedly plundered his company to cover the losses.

Kristin Cavallari’s jewelry line Emerald Duv, pronounced “??”, is awash with new developments lately. Yesterday, the brand announced it was setting something on fire. Today, Kristin herself declared that Emerald Duv is selling hats now.

More than a dozen companies pay each of their corporate board members more than $500K annually for meeting an average of eight times per year. Those board members help set the CEO’s pay—and their own. They all tend to get paid well, somehow.

When Martin Shkreli was arrested by federal agents for fraud this morning, the first thought in your head was probably something along the lines of “The fucker deserves it.” The second might have been “But what’s going to happen to Once Upon a Time in Shaolin?” So far, the answer is “nothing.”

You might be wondering: Where did that alleged fraudster Martin Shkreli get the grey hoodie he was sporting on his perp walk in New York City this morning? A forensic analysis of various photos taken today (some of which captured the word “CARGO” pressed into the hoodie’s metal zipper fob) pointed us to the following hoodie sold by the New York-based sports retailer Modell’s: The Cargo Mens Full Zip Hoodie in Light Grey.* It is also available in a “big mens” version, for the big mens in your life.

Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO and corporate greed mascot Martin Shkreli is a busy guy. Earlier today he was arrested for securities fraud. But before the 32-year-old CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals got fingered by the long arm of the law, he kept up a busy livestreaming schedule on YouTube.

So you want to live in New York City.

Let’s all look at the bad man in chains.

In February 1999, four plainclothes NYPD officers fired 41 shots at Amadou Diallo, an unarmed 22-year-old Bronx resident, peppering his body with bullets and killing him. Sixteen years later, one of those cops is getting a promotion.