Evangelical fertility gods Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar revealed on the Today show this morning that God has placed yet another baby inside Michelle's womb, and so now they are expecting their 20th child. And they and their other 19 kids are "so excited."

Halfwit tabloid sex perv Andrea Peyser has a major Republican sex fetish. Yes, fine, that's a matter of record. But Andrea is, first and foremost, a professional sexxx journalist, and she takes that duty quite seriously. So it's alarming to learn that—in Andrea's unbiased opinion—Sharon Bialek (pictured), who yesterday accused Herman Cain of sexual assault, is a gold-digging slutty slutwhore bad mom welfare queen (and ugly).

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Pity the little boy-child of Peterborough United player Gabriel Zakuani, who will have to go through life as "Trendy." Or at least the part of his life leading up to the day when he legally changes his name to something less humiliating—i.e., almost anything else.

It's been less than 24 hours since Sharon Bialek revealed details about her alleged, unwanted, aggressively sexual Herman Cain experience in 1997, and yet we already have someone new to meet. A warm welcome to Donna Donella, Cain accuser No. 5!

Florida's anthropology-hating android-governor Rick Scott, who is not cool in any way, recently stopped by the Port of Miami to hang out on a cruise ship and pretend to do somebody else's job for a few minutes, again. Rick Scott creates jobs ... for Rick Scott!

This glowing fireball is not the coming of Harold Camping's apocalypse but the aftermath of a collision between a tanker carrying 8,500 gallons of gas and a minivan, which took place on the New Jersey Turnpike last night. Citizen journalist @MelissaJoann was there and filmed what she saw; this image is a still from her crazy-looking video.

It's a bleak landscape for the mighty black rhinoceros. The WWF announced this week that 353 of the endangered mammals, whose horn is incorrectly thought to have cancer-curing powers, have been poached this year alone, already exceeding the number poached in 2010. Current estimates put the total population of the species at 4,240.

Like thousands of New Yorkers, Dr. Anthony Marx, the 52-year-old president of the New York Public Library, was massively inconvenienced on Sunday by marathon road closures. No problemo! He just threw his Audi A4 (registered to the library) into reverse, floored it — and slammed it into a garbage truck on East 138th St.

The Wall Street Journal reports that Bill Daley, the man hired 10 months ago to turn the S.S. Obama around following the disastrous 2010 elections, is "shifting core responsibilities." Translation: He's being sidelined into a comfy "ambassadorial" position where he can't muck things up further for the beleaguered administration.

Last week, the editorial offices of French satire magazine Charlie Hebdo were firebombed after the release of an issue "guest edited" by Muhammed. ("100 lashes if you don't die of laughter!" said the cartoon Muhammed on the cover.)

Why is Simon Eroro of the Papua New Guinea Post-Courier a great reporter? He's willing to do anything to chase after a hot tip—even if it means only a snippet of news. Also, he underwent a circumcision to secure an interview.

Jon Stewart opened tonight's Daily Show with a recap of the latest developments in Herman Cain's sexual harassment scandal, including the news that a fourth accuser had come forward to tell her story. Cain, of course, stuck to his "Blame the media" narrative." But as Stewart then explained, it's hard to make a point when the truth—unlike Fox News—isn't on your side.

What do presidents do when no one else can hear them? The same thing the rest of us do: complain about other people! Like on Monday, when President Obama and his French counterpart Nicolas Sarkozy were caught on microphone bitching about Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Looks like the "Occupy Wall Street" movement is spreading! To a spot about 75 below the Tappan Zee bridge, where a gentleman named Michael Davitt was dangling for a few hours on Monday, complete with an incomprehensible sign.

The end of the world is apparently kicking off in Oklahoma! This weekend the Sooner State was rocked by two earthquakes (spurring a mass bird and bug exodus); today, it was on the receiving end of a somewhat more conventional natural disaster: tornados. Storm chaser Reed Timmer captured this way-too-up-close tornado photo from through his windshield near Tipton, Okla.; 17 counties in the state are under a tornado watch and the AP reports that the Oklahoma State University extension office was destroyed. Sooners, you need to move out of your state before a tsunami hits it. But wait until the tornados pass.

Mark Zuckerberg was once so obsessed with programming his girlfriend demanded a written contract guaranteeing alone time. But the Facebook CEO and ranking Borg commander on Planet Earth has, apparently, softened, telling Charlie Rose he spends long stretches with his girl, his dog, and their massive, empty mansion.

Today we learned...well actually, we're still not quite sure what we learned from this image of Michelle Obama and Bubble Man John Cassidy today, but it made for a perfect impromptu caption contest. One commenter, though, blew the rest away.

Illinois weather reporter Drew Gardner was delivering a live report about storm-toppled trees when a tree surgeon trips and nearly slices his face off. As the jauntily coiffed Gardner explains on his YouTube page,

It sure is a good day to hate Hollywood schlockmeister, Olivia Munn banger, Oscar ruiner, and receding afro-with-legs Brett Ratner. Apparently this weekend at a Q&A following his new cinematic turd Tower Heist, he dropped the f-bomb. No, not "fuck." "Fag."