Used to be that people here in America would sometimes "move" themselves and their belongings from their present dwelling place to a new, different dwelling place. No more.

In a major reboot of his flagging campaign, Rick Perry is releasing a far-reaching government reform plan that would radically transform Congress and the Supreme Court at a structural level.

Throwaway husband Kris Humphries goes into the jewelry business. Michael Bublé calls Kim Kardashian a "bitch." Leonardo DiCaprio turns 37. Kristen Stewart on her Twilight premiere dress: "Well, it's purple and it's a gown." Tuesday gossip is addicted to fame.

Good news! Facebook is aware of the hardcore porn and gross violent images that have been flooding the site for the past two days. And they're working to get to the bottom of the Great Porn Flood of 2011.

Courtney Love's band Hole was in the middle of a performance at the SWU Festival in Sao Paulo, Brazil, on Sunday when she saw someone in the crowd holding up a photo of her late husband Kurt Cobain. That's a no-no. She lost it.

This Real Housewife talks about sex but won't say she's gay. The actors and directors on this gay-themed film won't talk about their love lives. This bi actress is getting back with her girlfriend, and this actor is banging a chick on set. Finally, some straight people in Hollywood!

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is primarily known for harassing employees and harassing journalists and giving poor advice and suing everyone over everything and representing odious clients and generally running a PR firm which is hilariously incompetent and unethical. Who better to teach you about PR?

Well, here's what Zuccotti Park looked like this morning, after hundreds of NYPD officers dismantled Occupy Wall Street's headquarters in an early morning raid. But a judge now says occupiers can return with all their gear.

Medical marijuana is a very controversial issue for cities across America, pitting individual freedoms against municipal concerns with a backdrop of blah blah, [boilerplate "on the one hand, on the other hand" here]. The real question is: how can medical marijuana win, forever? A foolproof legal strategy is now emerging.

Before buying that special dolphin in your life an Orbital CD this holiday season, note this: some animal rights activists say loud boom-boom music can stress out dolphins so much that they will drop dead. At a Swiss amusement park, for example, two dolphins recently died after a techno party took place just yards away from their dolphinarium.

When nighttime snacker Shanaya Edgell visited a Wisconsin McDonald's at 3 AM in search of a cheeseburger, they told her she couldn't have her cheeseburger because it was breakfast menu time, come back later for cheeseburgers, sorry!!! For Edgell, this was totally unacceptable.

New York City council member Jumaane Williams tweets that his colleague on the dais, Ydanis Rodriguez, "was hit and arrested" during tonight's raid at the Occupy Wall Street site. Let the record show that NYPD did not discriminate in its evacuation proceedings!

Calling all unemployed Okies with underutilized graduate degrees! Many government positions have opened up in Oakland, California, in the past few weeks as one city official after another has abandoned Mayor Jean Quan's administration. Several new positions are waiting to be filled!

1. "Sweaty guy in suit and neon vest ripping off signs: 'I've been waiting a long time to do this.'" [@JoshHarkinson]

It's on! Or rather, it's off! Or maybe it's somewhere in-between! Hundred of NYPD officers have begun to "clear and restore" Zuccotti Park — the birthplace of the Occupy Wall Street movement — which means forcibly removing the protesters who have been camping there for nearly two months.

On Friday, Gawker broke the story of a horrifically ill-conceived installment of Warren Olney's current affairs show on public radio, To The Point. Using the Jerry Sandusky child rape scandal as its jumping-off point, the show somehow drew a dotted line to the topic of gays and lesbians' suitability as foster and adoptive parents. The thinking behind it (and there wasn't much) was that Sandusky was ostensibly a heterosexually married man who had access to foster and adoptive children he could prey on. "With 500,000 children desperate for loving homes," Olney's intro went, "we'll look at efforts to widen the pool of available parents. Should gays and lesbians qualify?" I don't know, Warren. Should they?

On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert used the birth of an intern's child as an opportunity to highlight a recent local news report about how teens are now getting drunk by sticking vodka-soaked tampons up their vaginas/rectums. "No wonder the women in [tampon] commercials look so happy," said Colbert. "They are hammered!" A clip of the segment is above.

On Saturday night, CBS brought us the first hour of a 90-minute debate between the Republican candidates for President (apparently, an NCIS rerun was more important than an extra half-hour of politics). But as Jon Stewart observed on tonight's Daily Show, mixed in with the standard GOP talking points—like the belief that waterboarding isn't torture—were some less crazy ones, and from the unlikeliest of candidates.

With only a few scant weeks left in 2011, Tennessee State Representative Rick Womick has made a late break in the running for "Absolute Dumbest Thing a Republican Has Said About Islam This Year." Let's check in, shall we?

At least 19 fire companies from Long Island have responded to a blaze at the Pavilion and LaFountaine buildings on Fire Island Pines, the social hub of the legendary gay beach community. The fire began around 9:15 p.m. The complex was sold in 2010 to FIP Ventures, and encompasses the Pavilion nightclub, the Blue Whale and Bay Bar restaurants, the Hotel Ciel, a grocery store and gym. Word from the scene is that firefighters have the blaze under control, and that it hasn't spread to any residences or rental properties. No cause has yet been determined. We'll have more on this story as it develops. [Photo credit: The Fire Island Pines Historical Preservation Society/Facebook]