The New York Times breaks the alarming story of how a hacker was able to easily gain access to numerous boardroom videoconference systems throughout the country. Alarming, because this hacker got into Goldman Sachs' boardroom but didn't even spy on the bastards once.

The creator of this particular video has emailed to let us know that this video is blowing up. Here's what she said:

Yosemite HD from Project Yosemite on Vimeo.

Whitney Port was the star of The City, so I'm told, and while she was frolicking around in what appears to be the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Florida, her bathing suit top mysteriously became unfastened as a camera man snapped photos from ashore. Port deftly managed to avoid further embarrassment by quickly throwing her hands over her breasts. The Daily Mail says that Port was wearing a "cream lace bandeau bikini" which we can all agree was clearly the culprit and not some rogue wave.

You can only join the exclusive new social network TopCom if you're among the 200 richest people in the world. Then again, if you're on hand in Davos Switzerland when TopCom is unveiled by scary software compant Tibco, there's a pretty good chance you're in that group.

Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley is an incredulous old coot who likes to tweet unreadable shorthand nonsense, constantly, and then lash out at those who would make fun of him. Whenever the federal government gets around to killing off the dumb Internet once and for all, they should leave Grassley's Twitter page up as a memorial to fun times lost. Here's a useful perspective for considering how unorthodox Grassley's feed is: When hackers broke into it today, their tweets were instantly more professional than the graffiti that one of our most senior Senators usually vomits out from his phone.

Today in inspired feats of profound boredom: eBay user The_Heppcat claims he typed the entirety of Moby Dick on four rolls of single-ply toilet paper to win a bet. (Or for the most labor-intensive "Dick up your butt" punchline in human history.)

Just because they are sometimes portrayed as delightfully dim and overly tanned, most of the JS cast members are actually, potentially, possibly college graduates. For instance, did you know that Vinny has a degree in something? And Snooki also took classes in college. "We all are very smart in our own way," Sammi Giancola tells Naughty But Nice Rob. She herself is only one semester away from finishing her degree in something, so look out world.

This has been a remarkably entertaining Republican primary season. Amidst all the insanity, there is one thing that is so odd, unnatural, and reprehensible that it boggles my mind. No, I'm not talking about Rick Santorum. I'm talking about Callista Gingrich's hair. Her butter-blonde helmet is a feat of modern engineering. How does she get it just so?

According to The Smoking Gun, the 15-year-old girl asked police to place her in a Christian children's shelter after she was awakened by her 35-year-old mother having sex with a boyfriend. The teen's room is right next door to her mom's, but the mother said that her lovemaking was not intended to be so noisy. Eventually, cooler heads prevailed and the daughter decided she would not go to the Christian shelter after all.

Jake Burris, campaign manager for Arkansas 3rd District congressional candidate Ken Aden, returned home with his family last night and found their cat lying dead on the front porch with "LIBERAL"scrawled across its side. The cat, according to Aden's campaign, "had one side of its head bashed in to the point the cat's eyeball was barely hanging from its socket." You can view the somewhat disturbing photo here. (You can't make out the bashed-in head or danging eyeball, fortunately.)

According to Reuters this is happening: "Starbucks is planning to add beer, wine and food such as savory snacks and hot flatbreads to the menus in four to six outlets in both Atlanta and Southern California."

The reaction to our post last week on Atlanta Jewish Times owner Andrew Adler's suggestion that Israel consider "order[ing] a hit" on Barack Obama was fast and fierce: After being denounced far and wide and apologizing abjectly, Adler is reportedly stepping down as publisher.

What's a better way to set aside the gloomy Monday blues than by losing yourself in this wonderful collection of timeless YouTube classics you've probably seen before because they were forwarded to you.

Yes, it appears the 43-year-old funny person and co-star of 30 Rock, was rushed to a Park City, Utah hospital after mysteriously collapsing. But despite whispers that the star was totally tanked during his Creative Coalition Spotlight Award speech, his rep says we should not be so judgey: "Any reports of Tracy consuming alcohol are 100 percent false." It doesn't appear that Morgan's collapse and 232-pound Kevin Federline's collapse are connected.

One of our national treasures, "K-Fed," suffered a minor setback on the Australian weight loss show called "Excess Baggage" and was hospitalized due to chest pains, The Telegraph said. A spokesperson for the show confirmed that Federline's pulse rate spiked to an unhealthy level during one of the show's fitness challenges. The trip to the ER was just a precaution, though, and Federline was in no way close to dying. His weight on the show is listed at 105.4 kilograms, which according to this little conversion site is 232 pounds of lost dignity.

First-term Illinois Sen. Mark Kirk suffered a stroke this weekend and is now recovering from surgery. He had driven himself to the hospital "where doctors discovered a carotid artery dissection in the right side of his neck," according to his office. A neurosurgeon at the hospital says the stroke was on the right side of his brain, which "will affect his ability to move his left arm and possibly his left leg" and could result in "some facial paralysis." But it shouldn't affect his ability to speak or think.

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul (of the Paul Libertarian Blimp Empire) hates the TSA. It's his "signature issue" — his contentious questioning about the agency's aggressive security policies got him a lot of positive press among internet conservatives and libertarians last year. So must have been really excited, just, positively tumescent when TSA agents asked to pat him down this morning, and he refused. "Just got a call from @senrandpaul. He's currently being detained by TSA in Nashville," his communications director Moira Bagley Tweeted shortly after. The only thing is, though, Rand Paul was never actually "detained" by the TSA.

The Wire is one of my favorite shows of all time and, yes, one of the best shows ever on television. That does not mean a show about urban blight, broken systems, drug dealers, and the strange Baltimore accent is going to get you laid. Probably the opposite in fact. But that doesn't mean people aren't using The Wire to try to get dates on OKCupid.

Those passengers fortunate enough to survive last week's cruise ship disaster will be happy to know that their next seafaring vacation will come at a reduced cost. Costa Cruises spokespeople confirmed to the Telegraph that, "The company is not only going to refund everybody but they will offer a 30 per cent discount on future cruises if they want to stay loyal to the company."