When a hologram slightly resembling the late Tupac Shakur popped up at this year's Coachella and started rapping along to "California Love," people everywhere thought they were glimpsing into the future.

Professor Scott Fahlman, a Carnegie Mellon computer scientist widely credited with creating the smiley emoticon, has spoken out against the graphic rendition of his beloved invention, calling it "ugly," and unimaginative.

Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer had twins today. They named them Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer. JK, that would be weird.

Jael Strauss placed sixth in Cycle 8 of America's Next Top Model, but with her days of smizing long behind her, she seems to have developed a meth habit. On Thursday's episode of Dr. Phil, she'll receive an intervention. Perhaps Dr. Phil will even yell at her like he's never yelled at a girl before.

Sure, this cat may seem like just a chill dude relaxing against a rail in the park enjoying the sunset, but it doesn't take a cat genius to see his human-like manner of sitting clearly foreshadows the impending rise of our feline overlords.

In March 2009, an open letter signed by more than 1,100 retired admirals and generals claimed that repealing America's "don't ask, don't tell" policy would "undermine recruiting and retention, impact leadershipat all levels, have adverse effects on the willingness of parents who lendtheir sons and daughters to military service, and eventually break the All-Volunteer Force." It's now been one year since the military withdrew its ban on openly gay soldiers and—surprise—a new study says the repeal has had "no overall negative impact on military readiness or its component dimensions."

The early '90s are all over today's shallow-underground house music, but few get the decade as right as London's xxxy with his remix of British dance duo Chew Lips' "Hurricane." The original was a crunchy electro thing; this sounds like something Marc Kinchen would have squeezed in between remixing superstars in 1993 (the drum sounds are so perfectly plastic), and that is the point. This thing is teeming with hooks, my favorite being the one that opens the song/follows the proper chorus ("Don't you want a little something?...") — the jazzy phrasing mixed with the jacking house is very Herbert.

It's that special time of year again, where we remember troops and solemnify 9/11, instead of reducing the whole of our overseas conflicts and anti-terror policy to some D-grade Seinfeldism about airport check-ins, taking our shoes off and whaaaat is the deeeaal with mini-shampoo bottles.

Songwriter Mark Eitzel, former frontman of American Music Club and inveterate chronicler of national despair, has a new (and probably really sad and great!) record coming out next month. So his money-mad label, Merge Records, is trotting him out to consult with various "image experts" to "sell" him to the "kids" on the "street." Here he is (in a GAWKER WORLD EXCLUSIVE) getting advice from Nadya Ginsburg, a comedian and writer for Joan Rivers' Fashion Police. Upshot: "That's not gonna play at Starbucks."

I walked outside the other morning and, for the first time in eons, the temperature was below 60 degrees. And I was so excited for the cool air that I pulled my shirt away from my body and let it waft up my torso. "Here, nipples! Taste the refreshment!" Then I immediately ran into the house to announce the conditions to the rest of my family. "It's kinda cool out there! We may need pants!" Pant weather is quickly approaching and now is the time to think about which is the most enjoyable wardrobe for you, the average American man/woman/manwoman.

Adding injury to insult this morning, NBC — the only Big Three network that didn't carry live coverage of the 8:46 AM moment of silence for victims of the 9/11 terror attacks — opted instead to stick with the Today show's Kris Jenner interview that covered such issues of national import as the new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and the momager's breast augmentation surgery.

In the first episode of Grantland's "Animated Archives" — a Ricky Gervais Show-esque animated adaptation of Bill Simmons' B.S. Report podcast — Chappelle's Show co-creator Neal Brennan recalls the time he, Dave, and Roots drummer Questlove were invited to an after-party at Prince's opulent hotel room.

Tom Hanks was one of several entertainment business colleagues who showed up at Michael Clarke Duncan's memorial service yesterday to pay their final respects to the late actor.

Kurt Eichenwald, the disgraced former New York Times reporter whose career went up in flames after he got caught secretly paying thousands of dollars to a child pornographer he wrote about, is on the comeback trail. Today he published an op-ed in the New York Times claiming to have evidence that the Bush Administration is guilty of "significantly more negligence" in ignoring 9/11 warning signs "than has been disclosed." That may be true, but save for a few interesting details, the evidence he presents has been in the public record for nearly a decade.

Cute new tat, Breezy! Except that from far away, it looks a little bit like a smudge. And when you get closer, the smudge starts to look like a skeleton from Día de los Muertos. And then, when you get even closer, it really comes into focus: This appears to be a tattoo of a battered woman, one that might very well resemble the infamous, horrible photo taken of Rihanna's face soon after then-boyfriend Chris Brown beat her in a car.

After his elderly owners could no longer care for him, Obie the Dachshund was handed over to Oregon Dachshund Rescue for re-homing.

Prince William and Catherine met an orchid in Singapore today. The species was "William and Catherine." No significance.

For the next few weeks, we'll be evaluating many of the new fall shows as they air. And then many of them will go away, and we'll never think of them again. It sounds sad, but for reducing clutter in our lives, this counts as a happy ending. We should always be so lucky as to have fleeting things before us to consider briefly.

Speaking with The Wrap after the Toronto Film Festival premiere of his latest film, The Notebook director Nick Cassavetes said Yellow — which tells the story of a romance between a woman and her brother — forced him to examine his own feelings on incest.

Memes! There are so many of them. Where did they all come from?