Remember that story about the wealthy businessman who offered a $65 million reward to the man capable of getting his lesbian daughter to leave her loving wife through sheer manliness? Well, we finally have our first volunteer.

In an Associated Press article from earlier this month, national affairs writer Jesse Washington posed the question, "Does racial bias fuel Obama foes?" "The question of whether race fuels opposition to President Barack Obama has become one of the most divisive topics of the election," Washington continued. "It is sowing anger and frustration among conservatives who are labeled racist simply for opposing Obama's policies and liberals who see no other explanation for such deep dislike of the president."

An unnamed US soldier and his squad were engaged in intel gathering and reconnaissance near a village in Afghanistan's ultra-violent Kunar Province when they suddenly came under heavy machine gun fire from Taliban insurgents.

Luckily the local news was there to interview the drunk guy (and the squirrel). According to police reports, the squirrel was "eating him." According to Drunk Guy's girlfriend, the squirrel wasn't "eating him; he was just crawling around in his shirt." According to Drunk Guy himself, the squirrel was "just tired" and "resting" in Drunk Guy's shirt. Now that that's cleared up, the reporter informs us that Drunk Guy was indeed drunk and has renamed the squirrel DUI (pronounced: doo-ee).

California mommy blogger Snoop Dogg sat down with the Hollywood Reporter recently to discuss marijuana, that good good, sticky icky, reefer, kush, weed, and parenting.

Renowned South Korean filmmaker Park Chan-wook, best known for his Vengeance Trilogy and its crown jewel, Oldboy, makes his English-language debut with the psychological thriller Stoker starring Mia Wasikowska, Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode, Dermot Mulroney, and Jacki Weaver.

Gawker is on a quest to determine the most racist city in America. Your contributions are vital to the cause. Please add your insights in the discussion system below. Or if you'd like to nominate another city please send an email here. Today...St. Louis, MO.

This new Crystal Castles song, off their forthcoming III album, is equally gorgeous (those gauzy synths!) and ridiculous (those shrieking vocals), a combination in camp heaven. I'm detecting a sense of humor here, but maybe that's wishful thinking?

That headline was for the Daily Caller.

News flash: Americans, who are, on average, not a bunch of wealthy muckety-mucks lighting their cigars with Benjamins, are spending too much money on their stupid cell phones. We as a nation have cut back on our overall spending even as we're spending more on our precious "smart phone" bills. Smart phone? More like... unnecessarily expensive device!

It's a feel-good Internet story: Man tracks down Internet troll who made his life a living hell, gets him to beg for forgiveness.

From crime to AIDS to the debt, America is facing a lot of problems. But there's a simple solution, according to this letter: cast this woman in a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio. Not only will "less [sic] children... be harmed by confused followers of Leonardo DiCaprio," but Los Angeles might get the Olympics again.

Another day, another strong endorsement for a whirlwind summer romance culminating in teen marriage from a member of the Kennedy clan.

For the next few weeks, we'll be evaluating many of the new fall shows as they air. At long last: one worth watching again for real.

Roger Simon wrote a...thing today for Politico in which he revealed highly embarrassing details about GOP vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan's contempt for Mitt Romney: Ryan has "gone rogue," openly referring to Romney as "the Stench" on the campaign trail and refusing to follow the campaign's direction. EXCEPT TOTALLY NOT! Jokes on you, suckers.

Black and Latino kids are less likely than white kids to wear seatbelts. "Excellent."- Karl Rove, looking ahead to 2032.

Though she just finished her first adult novel after writing exclusively about Harry Potter for over a decade, J.K. Rowling says she's not done writing for younger readers, and could even return to the world of Hogwarts if inspiration should strike.

In what is likely a little more than a calculated maneuver to reclaim the clothes of his that Kristen Stewart has been wearing, public cuckold and fake vampire for money Robert Pattinson has deigned to live once again with the woman who stole his heart and t-shirt and hat.

There are multiple cases against America's international program of drone assassinations. There is the humanitarian case: the program has killed hundreds of innocent civilians, due to either bad intelligence or a simple lack of caring on the part of US officials. And, for the more heartless... er, hard-nosed pragmatists, there is the diplomatic case: the US is reportedly operating drones in Pakistan with only the flimsiest level of permission.

This website combines the tedium of the election with the exhilaration of balloons. Can you guess your state's balloon?