Cool Pope Probably Not a Trump Supporter

Hamilton Nolan · 02/15/16 01:15PM

Cool Pope “Francis” (a rap name), a Catholic man that religious people must pretend to respect, continues his irksome habit of making public statements that do not comport with the official positions of Republican presidential candidates.

Nobody Seems to Know How Exactly Antonin Scalia Ended Up Dead Underneath a Pillow

J.K. Trotter · 02/15/16 11:20AM

On the morning of February 13, the owner of Cibolo Creek Ranch, in the west Texas town of Shafter, discovered the cold body of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia in one of the ranch’s hotel rooms. The owner, John Poindexter, later told the San Antonio Express-News, “We discovered the judge in bed, a pillow over his head. His bed clothes were unwrinkled. He was lying very restfully. It looked like he had not quite awakened from a nap.”

Armed Robbery Costs Teen an Arm

Gabrielle Bluestone · 02/15/16 10:36AM

A teenager who allegedly tried to steal a $160 pair of Air Jordans last week literally paid an arm and a leg for them when his victim ran him over with a car in a violent incident caught on video.

Hamilton Nolan · 02/15/16 10:23AM

An Australian mining company has unearthed the biggest diamond ever found in Angola. This diamond is not expected to change Angola’s 207th place ranking in global life expectancy.

By Dying, Antonin Scalia Saves Public Sector Unions 

Hamilton Nolan · 02/15/16 09:25AM

Even if President Obama cannot get a new Supreme Court justice confirmed before he leaves office, Antonin Scalia may have singlehandedly saved America’s public sector unions by dying when he did.

Donald Trump Lied About Iraq

Brendan O'Connor · 02/14/16 11:01PM

At the Republican debate on Saturday, Donald Trump declared, “I’m the only one on this stage that said: ‘Do not go into Iraq. Do not attack Iraq.’ Nobody else on this stage said that. And I said it loud and strong.” This is—as the man himself might say—a big fat lie.

Brendan O'Connor · 02/14/16 08:15PM

On Sunday, Pope Francis celebrated Mass in Ecatepec, north of Mexico City, home to a towering statue of Santa Muerte: “That wealth which tastes of pain, bitterness and suffering. This is the bread that a corrupt family or society gives its own children.”