Three years after receiving and unsuccessfully challenging a C+ in a course critical to her master's degree, Megan Thode did the reasonable thing and sued Lehigh University, her alma mater — which she attended for free, because her father works there — for $1.3 million, the amount she claims the poor grade will cost her career earnings. Apparently, the C+, which, let's be real, isn't so terrible, forced her to switch to a career in human development instead of professional counseling.

This is President Obama doing an exploding fist bump with someone Sen. Mark Kirk (R - Ill.), who had a stroke in 2012, after the president's arrival and before his speech. That's right: not just an exploding fist bump, an exploding fist bump with a Republican. The state of our union is dope, y'all.

Stop staring at the burning cabin on your television. President Obama is about to deliver the first State of the Union of his second term. There's much to look forward to in the address — the first to compete with a major breaking news story since the Clinton's 1997 speech coincided with the verdict for O.J. Simpson's civil trial— including (spoiler alert) news that the Union is "strong," discussion of the economy AND Afghanistan, and, according to CNN, something called a "slap and tickle." And that's not even mentioning this year's special attendee, the patriotic pants shitter Ted Nugent. Tom Scocca will be live-tweeting the speech from the @Gawker account, and we'll have the live-stream here. So stick around to talk about it with us.

The broadcast starts at 9 p.m.

Nestlé has issued a voluntary recall of some packages of LEAN CUISINE® Culinary Collection Mushroom Mezzaluna Ravioli and Glass Shards, after three customers reported finding shards of glass inside their slimy noodle pockets.

An SUV driver on her way to visit her son in Plantation, Florida, says she was sure the Great Horned Owl she struck near Yeehaw Junction was roadkill.

In a straight party line vote, the Senate Armed Service Committee approves Chuck Hagel to serve as Defense Secretary.

For the second year in a row, Kate Upton's boobs are the face of Sports Illustrated's annual swimsuit issue. This time, however, she almost died putting them there.

Up until last week, 30-year-old Matt Watson was an anonymous coffee shop employee known to many only as "Bitter Barista."

Jonah Lehrer, the disgraced New Yorker writer, does not know how to do journalism. We have established this, repeatedly: he "plagiarizes" from himself. He actually plagiarizes from others. He fabricates quotes. He lies. This is why he was fired from The New Yorker, and why he is not currently employed as a journalist.

A gun battle in Angelus Oaks, California, today ended with alleged killer cop Christopher Dorner presumed to be holed up in a flaming cabin and surrounded by police.

Chi, the Italian gossip magazine that incurred the wrath of the royal family last September when it printed topless photos of a sunbathing Kate Middleton, is at it again — this time publishing the first photos to show the Duchess' growing baby bump.

The Senate voted today to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act.

From the Associated Press today, a bizarre memo that specifies the terms "husband" and "wife" are to be used to refer to heterosexual couples only. The initial memo, posted first by Romanesko Romenesko, reads:

When I tell the young Marie Claire assistant seated next to me at the Reem Acra Fall 2013 fashion show that I write for Gawker, she becomes very excited because she attended Northwestern and sometimes Gawker writes about Northwestern.

Bratty Bieber thinks Black Keys' Patrick Carney should be "slapped around" for saying Bieber doesn't deserve a Grammy.

Not satisfied with their first try, the film industry has decided to give it another go at a Liz Taylor biopic.

As LA's killer cop manhunt drags into its sixth day, police are learning ever more about Christopher Dorner, the man suspected of killing three people and wounding two others on a revenge mission against the LAPD. Dorner apparently purchased scuba gear two days before allegedly killing his first two victims, and police now believe him to be using burner cellphones to maintain contact with friends and allies. What's more, one of those allies tried to help Dorner flee to Mexico, according to new criminal charges filed in US District Court late last week.

Austinite Todd [Redacted] wanted to see if Wells Fargo could tell the difference between a photo of his ginger self and a photo of a ginger housecat.

Having bungled one of the two central premises of their story about the Navy SEAL who is supposed to have killed Osama bin Laden, the editors of Esquire are now arguing that they were secretly right all along. Yes, Phil Bronstein's piece did say that "the Shooter," as the story calls the SEAL, gets "no health care" after leaving the service, when in fact—as Stars and Stripes pointed out—he is covered by the Department of Veterans Affairs. But according to the editors, that's a distraction from the real point: