As you're all probably well aware, the shit-covered Carnival cruise ship finally arrived in Mobile, Alabama earlier tonight. CNN dropped all other news to cover the event as though it were some sort of national disaster, which it clearly isn't. Only don't tell that to CNN's Martin Savidge, who during an interview with passenger Rob Kenny, compared conditions aboard the ship to life in New Orleans immediately after Hurricane Katrina. You know, the storm that killed thousands and nearly destroyed a major U.S. city. Thankfully, Kenny put Savidge in his place, telling him: "Well, let's put that in perspective. Katrina was a major a devastation. We're out on a freaking cruise ship, and just out here having a good time...those are two different things."

Flower delivery services are having their busiest day of the year, I'd imagine. They are, after all, the last minute option for uncreative/forgetful spouses. These companies are also, based on personal experience, on par with Delta as far as terrible service is concerned. Judging from the Twitter feed for FTD Flowers, plenty of people's nights have been ruined by failed or delayed deliveries. The poor social media director there (or their intern, more likely) is having a night from hell, sending at least 80 tweets in the past four hours in response to complaining customers.

The disabled, shit-covered Carnival cruise ship has finally arrived in Mobile, Alabama.

If you're spending Valentine's Day alone, here's something comforting: At least you won't catch a case of super gonorrhea. According to a CDC report, cephalsporins – the antibiotics used to treat gonorrhea — are becoming less and less effective. Cephalosporin-resistant gonorrhea is apparently already an issue in Spain, Japan, and France, and, if the current trend continues, could soon become a problem in the U.S.

This is a weird one. The day after President Obama's State of the Union, there were reports of Tennessee Congressman Steve Cohen sending what, at the time, seemed like flirtatious tweets to Victoria Brink, a 24-year-old model and former Texas State University student. Those tweets, which were quickly deleted and included messages like "nice to know you were watchin SOTU(state of the union). Happy Valentines beautiful girl. Ilu," seemed like your standard social media mishap by a middle-aged horndog politician.

Officials positively identified Christopher Dorner's body today after using dental records during the autopsy.

An auto shop owner from Harrisonville, Missouri, was on his way out of a local Sutherlands home improvement store when he came across an envelope containing $1,200.

Good news if the only thing keeping you from having a baby was the fear that you might not be able to scrape together $99 to buy a crib from IKEA; IKEA Australia is offering a free crib to any baby who is born nine months from today, on November 14, 2013.

Headline of the day: Chubby Checker — 'I Don't Want People to Call Me a Penis'

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Ever wonder how Dame Maggie Smith manages to play her part as Downton Abbey's Dowager Countess so perfectly?

Illinois' Senate has voted to legalize gay marriage. On Valentine's Day, no less. How sweet. It now moves to the House.

TLC's My Strange Addiction is back for a fourth season, and that is terrific because it such a hilarious show. On it, nothing is sacred, not even the concept of addiction, which is stretched to include things that you don't need a degree in addicitionology to know are not real addictions—if growing one's fingernails and toenails are addictions, they are the slowest release capsules possible. This may be too irreverent and insensitive for some, but I read it as media criticism: Reality TV is not the best source of addiction information. At times, though the show deals with real people (presumably) telling their true stories, it reads as parody.

It looks like the GOP is filibustering Chuck Hagel, Obama's nominee for Defense Secretary. Their demands? Benghazi info.

In about an hour, President Obama will be holding a Google Hangout. You can watch it here.

It's not entirely clear why it took this long for someone to put together a two-minute compilation of goats whose bleats sound like screaming humans, but let's all just be glad someone finally did.

Last month, A.J. Daulerio—my boss and my roommate—stood in one of Nick Denton's giant Soho windows, and addressed the crowd gathered to celebrate his abruptly abandoned term as Gawker editor-in-chief. For about five minutes, he went through a list of people he somehow owed: former Gawker managing editor Lockhart Steele ("He's the only one who taught me how to do everything"); Jezebel's Jessica Coen ("The person who taught me how to blog"); former Deadspin editor Will Leitch ("I couldn't be more indebted to him for supporting me at a time when no one else did"); current Deadspin editor Tommy Craggs ("The best hire I ever made"); his former Gawker right hand, Emma Carmichael ("The person that I'm going to miss working with the most because she's everything about this company that's good"); the owner of it all, Denton ("He's the best guy you're ever gonna work for").

The Carnival cruise line disabled by a fire and left floating for days, stinking of shit and piss, has reached a new level of horror as the towline taking it to Alabama—where its passengers would, finally, be able to disembark and go home—broke, leaving them floating once more in the Gulf of Mexico, 30 miles from shore. It's been fixed, and the ship is moving again—but as these images show, it's still not pretty.

Mayor Bloomberg gave his thirteenth and final State of the City address this afternoon and the city did not get stingy with the theatrics. The event was kickstarted by both dancing adults and dancing children as the mayor himself walked in to some flashy song about New York featuring Jay-Z. The speech itself was forgettable (something about styrofoam, something about weed, and something about clean air), but when it comes down to it, would you rather be remembered for your policies or your jokes about Beyonce?

N.J. Sen. Frank Lautenberg, who at 89 is older than the pope, will not seek re-election. Here comes Senator Cory Booker!