A 19-year-old who stands accused of hijacking the semi-trailer truck of an acquaintance and crashing it into several vehicles along I-15 near Temecula, California, told Highway Patrol officers he "was being chased by zombies."

Of all the things Brad Paisley and LL Cool J's "Accidental Racist" is accused of being (among them: The Worst Song Ever™, awkward and earnest, actually just racist, brave), there are at least two things that the song unarguably is. First, it is important –- like it or not, this song the pop culture story of the week, if not the year. It packs the one-two punch of social relevance and diversion. Whether you like it or hate it, we are all talking about it. Many on the internet who claim to despise racism are clearly and perversely riveted by it.

Alexander Heit, a University of Northern Colorado student from Boulder, passed away earlier this month from injuries he sustained after losing control of his car and flipping over while driving through Greeley.

Yesterday, the incoherent jumble of insinuations, flat-out lies and chiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllleeeees that is MediaTakeOut posted a MTO SUPER DUPER WORLD EXCLUSIVE featuring pictures of NFL free agent Kerry Rhodes "ON VACATION ... With One Of His 'MALE FRIENDS!!'" In its homophobic way that villainizes but stops short of exhibiting direct malice, MTO branded the shots of Rhodes and a much wispier dude seemingly canoodling in a tropical setting as "suspect."

This morning, a momentary pang of existential despair hit when the unverified @DonDeLilloOffic appeared, claiming to be the official Twitter account of "Don DeLillo, novelist" and revealing itself to the world like this:

Caution: Volume down; shit gets loud.

In an effort to further flesh out his mysterious list of 99 problems, Jay-Z has released a track called "Open Letter" that addresses a couple of his more recent predicaments.

It's been over a year and a half since Occupy Wall Street took over the streets and the internet. At the time, David Graeber was pegged as the "anti-leader" of the leaderless movement, a prominent scholar and activist in whom many of the intellectual and social strains of the movement came together.

It's spring, and you want to get out into nature, and take deep breaths of the forest's cold sweet damp, and commune with the wildlife, and maybe snap a few pics or a Vine to remember the life-affirming majesty.

A two-year-old hamster that was found "cold and lifeless" in her cage reemerged alive and well shortly after being buried, appropriately enough, on Good Friday.

George Zimmerman's mom pens a letter about how the justice system "failed" her. Trayvon Martin is mentioned not once.

Across the course of history, French discoveries have proved invaluable to the field of science. Children still learn the stories of Louis Pasteur, who discovered that invisibly small bacteria spoil food and cause disease, and Marie Curie, who found and named the unseen power of radioactivity. Now there's one more name to add to the list of geniuses upending the world's assumptions: Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon, who has declared that bras make women's boobs saggy.

On Sunday night, the National Geographic Channel kicks off three nights of '80s mania with the first episode of The ‘80s: The Decade That Made Us. In honor of this incredibly rad development, '80s authority Robb Skidmore cooked up some fan fiction starring two charmingly insufferable relics from the Me Decade, the Valley girl and the yuppie, set in a modern-day mall (remember those?). Warning: brick phone cameo ahead.

Well, if it wasn't his lucky belt buckle before, it certainly is now.

Nick Denton, who owns Gawker Media, sent out the following memo today:

Mother Jones recently posted a roundup of National Rifle Association ads through history, depicting the lobby group's descent into madness, but our eyes caught one particular pit stop on the road to crazy—this pro-gun 1993 TV commercial titled "Laughing Criminal," featuring a speaking role by future SNL star Molly Shannon.

Making matters worse, Roger Gorley says he now has a restraining order preventing him from visiting his partner at all.

What will Boston look like a few hundred years from now? It will look like... water, probably. Inspired by The New York Times' "What Could Disappear," photoillustrator Nickolay Lamm has put together some amazing images of American cities as they might appear in coming centuries, depending on how much humanity manages to reduce its carbon footprint. Above, Boston's Back Bay under 25 feet of water—a worst-case scenario for the year 2300, if no pollution controls are instituted.

One of the North Carolina state representatives who co-sponsored a Constitution-overriding bill to declare an official state religion made it fairly clear to a constituent that it was unlikely Islam would be picked as the Tar Heel State's One True Belief System.

Dr. Ben Carson, the Johns Hopkins neurosurgeon and rising Republican star, announced Wednesday that he will no longer be speaking at the commencement for Johns Hopkins School of Medicine after making some inflammatory comments about gay marriage. On a Fox News appearance, Carson compared gay marriage to bestiality and pedophilia.