It's a story as old as time: Boy meets girl; boy falls for girl; girl points out how the music in her favorite soap opera is so bad "that her cat could have written it"; boy decides to test her theory and is met with "great success."

A Republican state legislator from New Hampshire is in scaldingly hot water after he used the word "vaginas" as a substitute for the word "women" in an official email sent to a colleague via the New Hampshire House internal email system.

As the Senate prepared this morning to chicken out of tougher background checks on gun buyers, the New York Times plumbed the depths of Armslist, an online "firearms marketplace," and without much trouble turned up felons, fugitives, and random dudes hawking hundreds of guns at a time:

What goes on in the mind of Mark Sanford—politician, businessman, lover, poet, creep? On the eve of his attempted political comeback (he's running for congress), the former South Carolina Governor, who disappeared for five days while governor, claiming to be hiking the Appalachian trail, has been accused of trespassing in his ex-wife's house:

We all #PrayForBoston in our own ways. Some of us donate blood. Some of us volunteer. Some of us dedicate our workouts.

In fashion typical of the day, a horse-drawn carriage delivered Margaret Thatcher's coffin to St. Paul's Cathedral in London earlier this morning. The procession route passed a divided crowd, split between cheerers and hecklers. The threat of demonstrations, particularly those from Irish Republicans, caused an influx of security throughout London. The procession was flanked with British Army, Royal Air Force, the Royal Navy as well as over 4,000 Metropolitan Police on duty for the event.

In their first shows since Monday's bombings at the Boston Marathon, both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert had a few things to say about the tragic event.

Stand down, FBI: Redditors have created a subreddit dedicated to finding the Boston Marathon bomber.

New Zealand today became the first Asia-Pacific county to legalize same-sex marriage — and the 13th country overall to do so.

Here's what investigators have said they know, so far, about the Boston Marathon bombings that killed three and injured 183 people on Monday: The explosive devices used were built out of conventional pressure cookers placed in nylon backpacks. What they don't know: anything else. The "range of suspects and motives remains wide open [...] Someone knows who did this," Special Agent Richard DesLauriers, the lead investigator, told reporters. "[T]he person who did this is someone's friend, neighbor, coworker or relative." The Bureau is actively soliciting photographs, tips and information; examining the bombs; and using face-recognition software in an attempt to generate leads. No one has claimed responsibility, and the "Saudi national" briefly placed in custody after the bombing (whose suspecthood was loudly touted by the New York Post and Fox) is no longer a person of interest. It will be a "long, painstaking investigation," Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick told WBUR this morning, but "every hour, every day" will get us "a little closer." [NBC, AP, image, of the Public Garden following an interfaith service at Arlington Street Church in Boston, via AFP/Getty]

Underground sensation Zebra Katz will be here at noon to answer your questions. — Sponsored

The third victim in the Boston marathon bombing was a Chinese citizen attending graduate school at Boston University.

On Tuesday, the Associated Press and Fox 5 in Atlanta obtained photos from an FBI intelligence bulletin showing what's left of one of the bombs that exploded during the Boston marathon. As earlier reported, at least one of the bombs used in the attack was improvised from a conventional pressure-cooker.

With fine art, gambling, gangsters, Hollywood stars, the Olympics, bribery, FBI agents and more, this story has something for everyone. On Tuesday afternoon, FBI agents raided the Helly Nahmad Gallery in Manhattan, charging its owner, Hillel Nahmad, with being involved with an international gambling and money laundering ring.

Early Tuesday evening, news broke that a letter sent to Sen. Roger Wicker (R-Miss.) tested positive for the poison ricin. Considering yesterday's bombings and the deadly anthrax-filled letters sent after 9/11, this is scary stuff, right? Maybe. But there's a history of false positives with ricin.

Amid all the batshit crackpot conspiracy theories that have emerged in the wake of yesterday's Boston Marathon bombing, the "Family Guy false flag" theory stands alone in its batshittiness.

You can't fault the WITI-Milwaukee Fox6 WakeUp crew for wanting to inject a little fun into their morning broadcast regimen. The morning is, traditionally, not a very fun time of day. Plus, it's their job to get all the Lavernes and Shirleys in town excited for a tedious day down at the bottlecapping plant.

A letter to Sen. Roger Wicker has tested positive for ricin, a poison known for its association with false positives.

At least three men attending an annual culture festival in Saudi Arabia were kicked out of the country after religious police officers deemed them "too handsome" to stay.

A week ago Saturday, a reddit user named Naratto used the Confession Bear meme to discuss a murder. "My sister had an abusive meth addict boyfriend," Naratto posted. "I killed him with his own drugs while he was unconscious and they ruled it as an overdose."