According to reports on multiple conservative websites, a recommendation by Home & Garden Television to use the Star-Spangled Banner as a tablecloth has sparked outrage among viewers, with many taking to the channel's Facebook page to denounce the suggestion as "un-American."

Lovable crabby old lady Elaine Stritch tells Vanity Fair, "I’m about as unhappy as anybody can be." Interview's still a hoot, of course.

Two window washers are currently trapped on a scaffolding that broke near the very top of New York City's 46-story Hearst Tower. The New York Fire Department is in the middle of attempting to rescue the washers before the scaffolding fails further, having already slightly collapsed at its center.

That guy calling himself "N1ggerkiller" while playing the iPhone game "Fun Run" isn't just any racist teenage prick—it's the racist teenage prick son of Arizona Senator Jeff Flake!

CIA deputy director Michael Morell has resigned. He will be replaced by President Obama’s deputy counsel and agency outsider Avril D. Haines.

Marc Schiller is the co-founder of Wooster Collective, a formative street-art web site launched with his wife Sara in 2003, and the CEO and founder of slick digital brand-strategy firm Bond Strategy and Influence. He is widely surmised to be a close friend of global art-phenomenon Banksy. And today, Schiller enjoyed a bunch of coke with some transvestites.

The naked man who was filmed running wild through San Francisco's 16th Street BART Station last month was identified late yesterday as 24-year-old Yeiner Garizabalo, a former circus acrobat who apparently suffered a nervous breakdown.

Writer and fame sculptor Cat Marnell is too busy getting paid more than most people to write her memoir, so she has hired 18-year-old Alex Kazemi to handle her "publicity." (He's not pictured above; that's Riff Raff. He's not organized enough to be anyone's publicist but his own and even that seems accidental.) This partnership was announced via TwitLonger:

One night this past December, sitting at his laptop in his bedroom in Winchester, Kentucky, Deric Lostutter donned a plastic Guy Fawkes mask, recently purchased on eBay. He turned on the camera of his souped-up gaming laptop and cued a computerized voice to start speaking.

The U.S. Air Force's F-35 fighter jet, which is still in development, is projected to cost us $1.4 million per hour for the next 25 years.

An Ohio mom wept as she recalled how a North Ridgeville Humane Officer shot and killed a litter of kittens in her backyard earlier this week while her children watched on in horror.

We get a lot of mail here at Gawker. Lately, a lot of it has contained some variant of the question, "Why was I blocked?" We have a vibrant and ornery culture of commenters—excuse me, Kinjateers—and we value their input. They give us stories, make funny jokes, and keep us on our toes. The thing is, not all of them are good. Some of them are not good at all. Those ones get blocked. Here is a quick explainer on the process.

When the whole global economy teetered on the edge of failure a few years ago— remember that?— one of the reasons was that insurers had insured lots of things that they could not, in fact, afford to pay for, when the bill came due. Now, they're marching down that path once again.

Yolanda Orozco of Willits, California, says she definitely recalls ordering a Burger King cheeseburger without onions, but doesn't remember asking for extra razor blades.

Your credit card makes you irresponsible, overweight, and poorer: "Always leave home without it."

Is everyone at the State Department hiring hookers? A whistleblower has accused the State Department of covering up or ignoring several scandals—involving everyone from security details to the ambassador to Belgium.

A news anchor for an ABC affiliate in St. Paul, Minnesota, tried his damnedest not to say the word "fag" before reporting on this year's Twin Cities Gay Pride Festival, but ended up saying it anyway.

In case you didn't get the messages he left on your machine telling you about it, Kanye West has just given a textbook-crazy Kanye West interview (long; intermittently lucid; featuring a name drop of former Balenciaga creative director Nicolas Ghesquière) to the New York Times. You can read the gospel here.

Are you planning on showing off to all your biker friends that you're so pro at popping wheelies? Well Jalopnik suggests at least trying not to bump into a cop car.

A French-Canadian model has come forward to claim that Kanye West cheated on girlfriend Kim Kardashian with her on at least two occasions — once while Kim K was already pregnant.