Yeezus, the sixth album from rapper/producer/maniac Kanye West, leaked to your favorite Torrent site or scene blog this afternoon—just a few days before its official release on Tuesday. And already, Twitter has a favorite lyric:

Today is Flag Day, America's most important holiday. And while it might seem like a good idea to wear flag wings over your bikini or use a tattered Old Glory as a summer blouse, such actions are illegal. But because there's no enforcement or punishment for hurting the American flag, freedom is constantly under assault.

How much are the kids on Reddit making in a year? A wide range, yeah, but generally: way more than you expect and certainly more than you did at their age and in many cases more than you are right now.

The Pixies have announced that singer/bassist/McCartney Kim Deal has quit the band, or at least that Kim Deal perceives herself as having quit the band, while the other three Pixies "will always consider her a member." Given that the Pixies had never really re-formed as an album-making unit after 1991's Trompe le Monde, either take on the transaction makes sense. Rather than her spotlight turn on "Gigantic," which could suggest Deal's role was isolable or separable, here's the band in youth and unison doing "Bone Machine":

The first golden age of floating dirigibles ended on approximately May 6, 1937. The new golden age of blimpity bleep bloop blimps starts right now!

A top commander for a Nazi SS-led unit has been found hiding out in a Ukranian enclave in northeast Minneapolis. Asked by the Associated Press about his time as a Nazi, the 94-year-old Michael Karkoc said, "I don't think I can explain."

In honor of Father's Day, a day when mothers across America buy cards for their husbands and then search all over the house for their children so that they can sign the card—they literally don't have to do anything but sign the card, look, here I already bought it—TIME magazine assembled a team of famous fathers to write open letters to their daughters. There were old dads and young dads and politician dads and musician dads and good dads and Bruce Jenner. Most of the letters were sweet, if a little dull.

Finding a good parking spot in one of the country's most congested cities is commonly known to be ridiculous. But this ridiculous?

Journalists nationwide were miffed on Wednesday after New York Congressman and Super Mario Bros. Mini-boss Peter King explicitly called on the Department of Justice to go after Guardian columnist Glenn Greenwald for publishing classified documents revealing how much the NSA has been spying on all of us. This is almost certainly not going to happen, and would be a huge injustice if it did. But it got us wondering: Since the Obama Administration is clamping down on leaks with the dangerous zeal of a snapping turtle latching onto a toddler's pinky at a petting zoo, what is the best way for enterprising journalists to reveal important classified information to the world without being caught up in a nasty espionage investigation?

You may click here to read a news story about the results of a hot dog eating contest between advertising agency employees.

A large quantity of marijuana was found inside a residence in Leicester, England, thanks to the incessant farting of a police officer who had recently started a high-protein diet.

While the *total* wealth of Americans has recovered from the hit of the recession, those gains are, of course, not evenly distributed. The rich are doing great. Regular Joes, however, are not nearly back to where they started. And young people are truly fucked.

Taking the saying "I'd give my left testicle" to its illogical conclusion, veteran poet Raffael Medina Brochero has offered to give both of his testicles in exchange for money to fund his upcoming European tour.

Jelly Roll, a 28-year-old white rapper from Antioch, Tennessee, has eaten at Waffle House more times than he can possibly remember. Hundreds of visits, but more likely thousands, to an inestimable percentage of America’s 1,600 Southern franchises. He orders the same meal every time, his particular variation of an All-Star Breakfast: scrambled eggs with cheese and wheat toast; hash browns that are double scattered, smothered, covered, and chunked (splattered with cheese, onions, and ham); a side of sausage; and a chocolate-chip waffle.

A Bluffton, South Carolina, man who admitted to growing pot plants to help his sick wife was charged with marijuana trafficking after turning himself in this week.

In most of America, eating disorders disproportionately afflict young women, rather than young men. But in Los Angeles, almost as many boys as girls are vomiting and using laxatives to lose weight. What's to blame? Uh... Channing Tatum and Twitter?

While the US is holding hearings on the military's disturbing sexual assault problem with an (almost) all-male panel, Australia's Chief of Army Lieutenant General David Morrison is getting down to brass tacks: If being civil toward female soldiers and respecting their contributions to the service does not suit you, "then get out."

While in Toronto to introduce screenings of his classic films (Drunken Master, The Legend of Drunken Master, and Police Story), martial arts legend Jackie Chan stopped by George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight to recount his Best Story Ever.

Today in Important Headlines: "Is Interracial Marriage Still Scandalous?"

Syrian rebels will soon be fighting with American weapons, now that President Obama has authorized arming rebel militias with light weaponry in the wake of U.S. findings that President Bashar al-Assad's forces crossed the "red line" of chemical weapon use.