On Monday, Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi endorsed Donald Trump for president. In 2013, Bondi’s office declined to investigate Trump University after Trump donated $25,000 to her re-election effort. “I know the system far better than anybody else and I know the system is broken,” Trump said last week.

In an appearance Monday at Youngstown-Warren Regional Airport in Vienna, Ohio, Donald Trump, in the course of criticizing John Kasich for abandoning his duties as governor in order to campaign for president also took a swipe at his friend and hostage Chris Christie for the very same thing.

Asked by a voter on Monday why he is running as a Democrat, the senator from Vermont, who is an independent but has historically caucused with Congressional Democrats, conceded that “in terms of media coverage, you have to run within the Democratic Party.”

According to a police report released on Monday, Jason Brian Dalton, the Uber driver accused in the apparently random shooting spree that left six people dead in Kalamazoo, Michigan, last month, told officers that the Uber app on his phone was controlling him at the time of the spree.

Last October, the Wall Street Journal popped the reputation of Theranos, a much buzzed-about biotech startup that claimed to have revolutionized blood testing. As it turned out, their claims were not true—they simply hadn’t done what they’d claimed they’d done. Now, the mildly disgraced firm’s CEO is stumping for the Clinton campaign.

Four hundred and fifteen days ago, Kristin Cavallari—you know, Kristin Cavallari—began writing a book called Balancing on Heels. That book, now titled Balancing in Heels, comes out tomorrow.

Today at a campaign stop in Melbourne, Fla., Marco Rubio compared the Republican presidential race to an internet comment section:

Three proposals for how to make Albany less corrupt: Andrew Cuomo wants to limit lawmakers’ outside income to $12K; Democrats want to limit it to $70K; and Republicans want no limit. Contemplate a setting in which Andrew Cuomo is the least corrupt thinker.

This morning, Sarah Palin canceled her Florida appearances with Donald Trump after her husband was hospitalized in intensive care last night. This afternoon, Palin showed up in Florida anyway.

Seems like every day a new famous person is waking up and thinking to themselves, This Donald Trump guy is bad news. This week’s revelation comes from the guy who runs the famous “Humans of New York” Facebook page.

The Global Times, China’s state-run newspaper, used this morning’s editorial space to weigh in on the farce that is our current electoral spectacle. The 500-word smirk essentially boiled down to: How’s that whole democracy thing working out now, dumbfucks?

The climate is changing. The earth is warming. Sea levels are rising. We know all of these things to be true. Today, we have a clearer picture of who could soon be inundated by the mighty oceans, and where they might go ( to a watery grave).

The comedian Amy Poehler was recently fined for excessive water use in the drought-stricken state of California, where she is reportedly among the worst water waste offenders in Beverly Hills. Why does she need so much water? Her representatives have so far declined to respond to requests for comment, so we’ll have to guess.

This morning, Sarah Palin cancelled a planned Donald Trump rally in The Villages, Fla. just minutes before it was about to start. The reason for the abrupt cancellation, NBC reports, is that Palin’s husband, Todd, is in intensive care in Alaska after a “very serious” snowmobile accident last night.

On last night’s I Am Cait, a spirited debate between trans people over the social acceptability of the word “tranny” erupted while Caitlyn Jenner lounged idly in the background. Her hanging back was probably for the best as she allowed two very smart people—writers Jenny Boylan and Kate Bornstein—with very different relationships to a word that many consider to be derogatory to hash it out.

As the editorial toilet bowl at Breitbart.com continues to spin, it’s becoming clear that the shameless right-wing site hates itself about as much as everyone hates it. After editor and racist pissbaby-at-large Ben Shapiro resigned, his former website wasted no time in ridiculing him.

New York Times editorial page editor Andy Rosenthal is stepping down. He’ll be replaced by James Bennett, former editor of The Atlantic. This change in Establishment Opinionmongers will be so drastic that readers won’t notice a thing.

Well-heeled New Englander Mitt Romney will be hitting the campaign trail in Ohio in support of John Kasich today, NBC News reports. Romney has made it clear that he is not endorsing his fellow governor, and that the stops are part of his larger effort to make sure that anyone but Donald Trump is the nominee. It’s unclear how much he’s helping on that front.