Uninsured? Here's a simple way to figure out how much the Affordable Care Act will help you save on health insurance (before it destroys every facet of the American way of life).

The Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons just approved a plan to take Syria's chemicals: "The agreement ... allows the start of a mission to rid Syria's regime of its estimated 1,000-ton chemical arsenal by mid-2014, significantly accelerating a destruction timetable that often takes years to complete."

Is there anything Senator Ted Cruz got right this week?

Alec Baldwin's wife Hilaria is a former yoga instructor who, until very recently, had a small female human growing inside of her. During her pregnancy, Hilaria Baldwin combined two of her greatest passions (being the pregnant wife of Alec Baldwin; yoga), directing and starring in what she hopes will prove a lucrative prenatal yoga video venture (a fitness DVD out this October).

I really hope that in a few months' time, we don't find out that Kanye West has some personality disorder or other mental-health issue, because watching him react to the world is just too damn fun and I never want to feel bad about enjoying him.

Hot 97 urges NYC Democratic mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio to tell his "Afro Son," 16-year-old Dante, not to hang out with rappers. "We need Dante focused."

An old pet cemetery resting on the grounds of the hotel that inspired Stephen King to write The Shining will soon be dug up to make room for a "wedding and corporate retreat pavilion."

Why would you want to look at Morrissey's mopey face when you could have your Smiths play over the most beautiful and cosmically appropriate infomercial footage? [via Josh Fruhlinger]

Remember when Al Gore and the Clinton Administration made everyone happy by "reinventing government" back in the '90s, on the principle that government functions would be more efficient if a third-party private intermediary were taking profits on them, because the invisible hand of the free market will always produce optimal results? The New York Times has an update on the operations of USIS, the company born in 1996 with the privatization of the Office of Personnel Management's investigative operations.

This animated GIF was posted to Reddit just a couple of hours ago, but it's already blasted its way to the top of the front page.

Elizabeth O’Bagy, the foreign policy analyst who helped convince Senator John McCain to bomb Syria (and was later fired for lying about having a doctorate from Georgetown) has a new job: an analyst for John McCain. Congrats!

Yachts: So pedestrian, right? They just float there, bobbing up and down. According to Bloomberg News, founded by billionaire Michael Bloomberg, billionaires are disowning their giant yachts for personal submarines, priced between $1.2 and $4.5 million. Why? Bloomberg explains:

Over there—what's that? It's Zen. "But I don't even know what you were pointing at," objects the unenlightened slob (you). My son! That is precisely the point. Open your mind. Meet your new friend, Mr. Wisdom.

"It is dark now, and [...] posted on the refrigerator in my apartment back in Brooklyn is an updated prescription for my glasses. These are all excuses for why I inadvertently walk directly into the moat at Rick Ross' pool party[.]" — former Gawker night editor Jordan Sargent finally hits the big time.

For the first time since 1979, the leaders of the United States and Iran talked on the phone, President Obama told reporters today. Obama and newly elected Iranian president Hassan Rouhani talked briefly on Friday afternoon.

Former Goodwill store employee Andrew Anderson says he was inspired by the august organization's spirit to offer the most needy patrons a discount so they could afford store items for themselves and their families. But Goodwill had him thrown in jail just the same.

These days, everyone has a social media guy. It's a crucial component of marketing for any modern business, no matter what's being sold: books, cars, food, journalism. Illegal drugs. Since the online illegal drug market Atlantis Marketplace launched six months ago, it's set itself apart with brazen marketing tactics. But it abruptly shut down this week. Now that he's got some free time on his hands, the freelance online marketing expert who was Atlantis' main PR guy was willing to talk to me about hustling drugs in the social media era.

Every generation gets the moral panic it deserves. The 1980s had satanic cults and teen pregnancy, 1990s had designer drugs, the aughts had rainbow parties and Paris Hilton. Looks like the 2010s have cemented theirs: Sexting.

Citing the Supreme Court's United States vs. Windsor decision and state equal rights laws, a New Jersey judge has ruled that the state must allow gay marriage. Superior Court Judge Mary Jacobson ordered state officials to start officiating same-sex marriages on October 21.

Dylan Sprouse, co-star of Disney's The Suite Life of Zack & Cody along with his twin brother Cole, was recently spotted by fans working a "lowly" hosting gig at a NYC restaurant.