"His critics call him Darth Vader, a war criminal, an evil genius, the puppet master behind the throne. But sitting with him, I was struck by how calm, unflappable and unbombastic he was." "But," you say?

Healthcare.gov, the website where Americans are supposed to sign up for healthcare exchanges created under the 2010 Affordable Care Act, is buggy as fuck. The exchanges don’t officially take effect until early 2014, but in the meantime signing up for one is somewhere between difficult and impossible.

"I am sincerely sorry for my bad behavior, and for hurting anyone. If I hurt you, I am sorry. It was not my intention, I was thoughtless and selfish, and I am sorry." Rielle Hunter, John Edwards's erstwhile mistress, will apologize to you electronically for $3.99.

This video of two adorable twin girls play-sparring is being billed as the "world's cutest taekwondo fight," and, at first blush, it certainly appears to be.

Here are three stories.

Anonymous has joined the fray in the Maryville, Missouri, rape case, where 14-year-old Daisy Coleman alleged she was raped by a 17-year-old football player but charges were filed then dropped. They've launched #OpMaryville to bring attention to the case, and things look to be shaping up like the Steubenville story of last year.

Good morning. Have you eaten yet? Good. Let's talk cockroach farming.

In a series of handwritten notes inscribed on Marriott Residence Inn stationary with the slogan "ideas worth saving," Donald Glover, better known these days as Childish Gambino, opened up wide about a host of personal torments and tribulations, from his past struggles to his future fears.

Combining the glee of being a weird cat person with the fun of being a weird wine person, Japanese company B&H Lifes is introducing Nyan Nyan Nouveau: "wine exclusively for cats."

New York City just isn't what it used to be: Last week, there were no murders committed in any of the five boroughs, and NYPD reports an overall 26 percent drop in killings from figures taken at this point last year.

Hoping to preempt a tentative Senate deal unpopular with many of its members, House Republicans presented a new plan this morning to reopen the government through Jan. 15 and raise the debt limit to Feb. 7. UPDATE 11:55 a.m.: House Republicans have already abandoned the plan because there weren't enough votes to support it.

Jamie Dimon is one of the most admired CEOs on Wall Street. Under his watch, JPMorgan Chase has been penalized for multiple legal violations, capped by the largest legal fines in banking history. Should Jamie Dimon be fired? Well, if not, his bank should be destroyed.

Johnnie Mullins' neighbors love Halloween as much as the next heathen, but they think his decorations this year crossed the line from fun-scary to scary-call-the-cops-there's-a-dead-body-in-our-neighbor's-driveway.

If you've been hungry for a retelling of the racism controversy that chewed through Paula Deen's career this summer and rendered her a blubbering train wreck, check out the above clip from her E! True Hollywood Story, which aired last night. Though Deen did not sit down with E! for an exclusive interview, her sons Jamie and Bobby Deen and husband, Michael Groover, did, which may explain why the show went so easy on her.

Saved by the Bell alum Elizabeth Berkley is participating in the latest cycle of Dancing with the Stars, so, naturally, it was only a matter of time before she reenacted her iconic "I'm So Excited" freakout from the classic caffeine pill episode.

Police in LA are investigating a bizarre, potentially dangerous crime at the Los Angeles International Airport: For the second night in a row, a dry ice bomb exploded in a secure area at the airport, and authorities found two similar bombs nearby.

Last night, Logo aired a documentary on the by now well-examined phenomenon of grown male fans of the show My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. The most interesting parts of the one-hour doc What?! Bronies were those focused on the flack bronies receive for their interest in a cartoon targeted at young girls. One guy had his car vandalized and experienced homophobic slurs for putting custom-made My Little Pony decals in its windows. Another military brony described his inability to come out of the brony closet to his fellow servicemen (don't ask don't tell lives). We also watched a pair of fathers discuss their initial unease with their sons' Pony fandom. The parallels to mistreatment of gays were overt (hello, this was on Logo). The mere suggestion that a man take interest in something perceived as feminine is still enough to rub plenty of people the wrong way.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said Monday evening on the Senate floor that they are close to a deal that could end the shutdown.

A 7.2 magnitude earthquake rocked the central Philippines on Tuesday morning, killing at least six and injuring 19. Because Tuesday is Eidul Adha, a national holiday, the schools and offices where roofs collapsed were mostly empty.

Newark Mayor and wannabe Senator Cory Booker—the man who refused tell a stripper he wanted to suck her boobs—is often accused of being gay, most recently by an aid to his Republican opponent Steve Lonegan.