Long before Edward Snowden, there were the eight burglars who, in the spring of 1971, stole an entire office's worth of secret documents in an attempt to take down J. Edgar Hoover's FBI. Now, nearly 43 years later, five of them have come forward.

Frank Luntz is depressed. It isn't easy being a conservative messaging guru in an era where Obamacanism has brainwashed the electorate into a vicious cycle of government dependency. It's so disheartening, in fact, that Luntz can't even console himself with all the doodads in his $6 million L.A. mansion.

If we've said it once, we've said it a million times: Don't call the president of Zambia a potato if you're not willing to do the time.

The 50th anniversary of Lyndon Johnson's "War on Poverty" has prompted a bout of national soul-searching about how much progress we've really made. If we're actually interested in helping the poor, we should look even farther back in history, and resurrect the WPA.

Last night, notorious film critic Armond White (dubbed The World's Most Contrarian Film Critic by Time) continued his tradition of howling, transparent public spectacle at the New York Critics Circle Awards. This time, his heckling was aimed at 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen. You know how Lady Gaga sings, "I live for the applause"? It's just like that, except the opposite for the troll that is White.

The Polar Vortex has made life difficult in many parts of the country, including in Lexington, Kentucky, where temperatures—with the wind chill factored in—dropped to 20 below on Monday. Any outdoor activity there is ill advised, but a prison break in out-of-season, jail-issued clothing is an especially bad idea.

Sextuple threat Neil Patrick Harris is currently sunning it up in Mexico with his family and holding a Margarita drinking contest with himself.

A North Carolina family says their teenage son was shot and killed "in cold blood" by local police despite having already been restrained and tased following a schizophrenic episode.

Pro tip: If you don't know for sure whether the supermarket is open and don't have a Hamilton to wager on it, don't make a bet with the guys who share your Alaska trailer, because they might have a gun. And if the gun doesn't work, they might have a car-jack handle.

The vortexpocalypse continues apace. Take the animals two-by-two and stock up on Sterno and shotgun shells.

Attention, readers: this is not a test. This is not a drill. Please, without panicking, stop what you are doing and make your way to the nearest supermarket. Now. America may—and we stress may—be running out of Velveeta.

Louis C.K. made his last appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night, and gave Jay a proper send-off with some Grade A observations about love, happiness, and his long lost directorial debut that's about to see the light of day for the very first time.

There are a couple of ways to react when you learn that the factory where you work is closing, and you and your 1,172 colleagues will soon be jobless. One is to beef up that LinkedIn profile. Another is to rage against the machine.

While in North Korea to play basketball for Kim Jong Un's birthday, Dennis Rodman took some time out his schedule to (drunkenly?) scream and rant at CNN's Chris Cuomo. It's... something.

The list of celebrities, politicians, and high-profile individuals allegedly hacked by Guccifer just increased dramatically, according to the Smoking Gun.

Prosecutors say that a Texas man driving his wife and four children around in his SUV was so drunk that he didn't notice his four-year-old son get fatally ejected from the backseat of the car as he twice collided into a Chicago highway guardrail.

Eliot Spitzer and his girlfriend, the newly unemployed Lis Smith, put on quite the afternoon sex show for the families staying at the Montego Bay resort in Jamaica this week. And according to onlookers, it was gross.

Dennis Rodman and his "all-star team" of American basketball players have landed in North Korea for an exhibition basketball game staged in honor of Kim Jong Un's birthday.

Today the Senate voted in confirmed millionaire Janet Yellen as the next leader of the Federal Reserve. She will be the first woman to take the helm in the office's 100-year history.

An American Airlines flight headed from San Francisco to JFK had to make an emergency landing in Kansas City yesterday after a camera disguised as a flashdrive was discovered taped to a wall inside a lavatory.