Scientists using a new form of analysis say that an earthquake south of Los Angeles would cause "stronger-than-expected ground movement" in the city. Since it was already expected that Los Angeles will be totally wiped off the fucking map, we suggest that L.A. residents begin calmly making their way out.

George Zimmerman hasn't had anything to shoot in a while, so he's still playing with this debt-paying arts-and-crafts thing where he trolls everyone with infantile comments on American justice, oh and also, stencils.

Mike Huckabee—former governor, current TV gadfly, lifelong Jim Nabors doppelganger—wants you to know Republicans have no war on women. If anything, it's liberals who hate the foxes, with their free love and free birth control and something called "Uncle Sugar."

A billionaire Hong Kong real estate developer has doubled his "marriage bounty" for the man who successfully seduces and marries his lesbian daughter. The offer now stands at $120 million.

Hark; the time hath come for "Hey, Science," our intelligence-boosting feature in which we enlist real live scientific experts to answer humanity's most interesting/ idiotic scientific questions. Today: Is there an evolutionary or biological reason for preferring to have sex with people of a certain race?

For centuries, we Americans have sought easier ways to kill our convicts. Lethal injection had been the gold standard for sending toughs to oblivion. But amid a sudden spate of botched shots and poison shortages, what are we to do? Let's go back to guns, gas and zap juice!

A plastic-surgery clinic in Gangnam has been ordered to stop displaying some 2,000 bone fragments from reshaped jawlines, stacked in a tower. The Chosun Ilbo reports that the fine for improper medical waste disposal was 3 million won; each jawline procedure costs 3.5 million won.

Former Gawker fellow Robert Kessler was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, a type of cancer, in December. He'll be writing dispatches about his experience of the disease and its treatments for Gawker on his personal Kinja page, Cancer? I Hardly Knew Her.

Chris Pratt's performance as Andy Dwyer is consistently one of the best parts of one of the best shows on TV, Parks and Recreation. And Dwyer is at his best when he's singing, like in this clip where he's serenading a group of children with the tale of Van Damme in the hockey-action classic, Sudden Death.

Matt Yglesias, Slate's robot-like numberblogger, is reportedly joining the new media startup venture led by Ezra Klein, the robot-like former Washington Post numberblogger. Mmm. Yes. They're all together now. That will do nicely. Juicebox Mafia: Unite!

Take a moment to feel a tidal wave of gratitude wash over you as you reflect upon the fact that modern polling technology and statistical analysis techniques now allow us to pinpoint precisely how much People Don't Respect People Now Like They Did When I Was a Kid.

After building an entire career atop posting stolen naked images of women across the country, internet villain Hunter Moore and alleged hacker partner Charlie Evans are in FBI custody.

A ghost ship filled with cannibal rats is floating somewhere off the coast of Scotland, ready to crash ashore and unleash its disease-ridden cargo of starving rodents. And it's all because Canadian authorities let the Soviet-era nightmare liner loose in the North Atlantic, satisfied that it was no longer a threat to Canada.

This is amazing: A young boy and his grandmother walking in Brazil somehow survived being crushed by a car.

The full report from Justin Bieber's arrest this morning:

CNN is “expanding the definition of news” by laying off 40 editorial employees. According to the Financial Times, one of the axed staffers was “a pregnant producer who was two weeks away from giving birth to twins.”

An Amish family that fled their Ohio home to keep the state from sending their 11-year-old leukemia-sickened daughter to chemotherapy is now seeking an injunction against the government, saying the First Amendment protects the family's right to refuse her treatment.

[Via New York Times editor David Joachim, who insists it is not a joke.]

The Associated Press announced Wednesday that it had parted ways with Narciso Contreras, a freelance photographer who shared in a Pulitzer for his work in Syria last year. The reason Contreras was let go, basically, is that he tried too hard to meet a phony news-photo standard.

State legislators in New Hampshire are considering a law that would have judges in all criminal cases instruct juries on their right of "nullification"—that is, the jury's right to ignore the law. Is this really wise?