Michael Sam, a defensive linesman for the University of Missouri football team, publicly came out today. The 24-year-old, who will likely be selected in the early rounds of the NFL draft in May, would be the first publicly-out football player in NFL history.

Philandering French president François Hollande's l'affaire de coeur has caused some serious anxiety for the White House, which has planned a State Dinner for him next week.

Did you miss out on copping a pair of Kanye West's $245 Air Yeezy II Red October sneakers today? If so, don't worry: they're now being hawked on eBay for around $5,000.

According to a study last year by the National Marriage Project and others, the average age at which we get married is now at an all-time high. The study, "Knot Yet", whose titular pun is how you know it's good, says women are waiting until 27, and men 29, before promising to fart next to each other on the couch for eternity.

When AOL CEO Tim Armstrong explained to his employers this week why he was undercutting their 401(k) plans, he used the example of two "distressed babies" whose care he says cost the company millions. Today, a mother of one of those babies has spoken out.

The hottest new looks from New York Fashion Week this season are felt crowns, thongs, trench coats, and a shit-eating grins, as seen when a streaker sprinted across the stage at Prabal Gurung's runway show on Saturday.

That is Shia LaBeouf at the German permiere of Lars von Trier's new film Nymphomaniac wearing a brown bag over his head that says "I AM NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE," a slogan he debuted on Twitter about a month ago. There is also a bar code at the top right corner of the bag, because being a multimillionaire actor makes you feel like a product or whatever.

It seems like every other day some dumb Starbucks or other is opening up on every block, but slightly rarer is an actual Dumb Starbucks. That's the name behind a new coffee shop in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A. that opened this weekend.

Churlish performance art major and bar-fighting Shakespearean Antonio Shia LaBeouf has once again dazzled the world with his ability to feel things more deeply than the rest of us. During a press conference for Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac, (inexplicably still not out in theaters yet), a film in which he was forced to act against his wishes, in a career he did not choose of his own volition, the actor answered one question, then walked off the stage. Where? Into a volcano maybe.

The 2014 Winter Olympics are about to be overtaken by Johnny Weir, the ex-Olympic figure skater now working for NBC during this year's Games. Absorb his above look, because it's more fun than anything that has happened in Sochi so far.

Ireen Wüst of Netherlands became the first out gay Olympian to medal in Sochi, taking home gold in women's 3,000-meter speedskating. It is Wüst's third career gold.

Despite considerable protests, a Danish zoo has killed a two-year-old "surplus" giraffe called Marius, whose only crime was being in the wrong place (Copenhagen) at the wrong time (ever).

As George Zimmerman gobbles up headlines over his desire to stay solvent by getting beaten up by any famous black person that will punch him, another trial is underway in Florida in which a white man is accused of murdering an unarmed black teenager.

After resounding backlash, AOL CEO Tim Armstrong has decided to reverse changes to the company's 401(k) plan. The company will again match contributions every pay period, instead of once at the end of the year.

The fashion brand Valentino has apologized this weekend after sending out a promotional email that leveraged the occasion of Philip Seymour Hoffman's funeral to flog their wares, celebrity funerals being universally regarded in the business as the Super Bowl of death branding synergy.

[Japan's Aiko Uemura flies in the air during the Ladies' Moguls Final in Sochi on Saturday. We think this is how it's supposed to look. Image via Getty]

Barring a particularly memorable Winter Games, the Olympics in Sochi are destined to be remembered as "The One Where Everything Was Shitty." To the pile of Sochi horror stories we can add this tale from snowboard and ski course builder Johnnie Balfour.

Salon has published an excerpt of Toronto journalist Robyn Doolittle's Crazy Town: The Rob Ford Story. The selection goes into great detail about the ways in which Ford is a reckless, vindictive, and borderline-incompetent politician.

Attorney General Eric Holder is expected to announce on Monday that he will instruct the Justice Department to extend full and equal protection to same-sex marriages in all of the programs it oversees. Among the considerations granted in the policy memo are that same-sex couples cannot be compelled to testify against one another in court, that they can apply jointly for federal bankruptcy, and that federal inmates can avail themselves of the same allowances as other married couples such as in visitation rights. Also it's mandatory that people stop bitching about Looking now.