It would be alarmist of us to predict that you, the randomly selected Gawker reader, will suffer from dementia in the future. Let's just say... the chances of it are getting better.

A sunny new paper from Alzheimer's Disease International has dramatically raised the prediction of looming rates of dementia around the world. They now say 135 million people globally will have dementia by 2050. Today, the number is 44 million. So, nearly 100 million new dementia cases, just in time for your elderly days.

And, as is often the case, there's an extra helping of awful news for poor African countries. From USA Today:

Previously, they had assumed that all cases of dementia would be among people over 65 — and since there were few in sub-Saharan Africa who lived that long, the rates of dementia were quite low. But, although dementia is rare among younger people, it does strike some early, Rudan said. Accounting for these people with early dementia pushed the numbers upward, he said.

"At least there is a silver lining to our nasty, brutish, and short lives," sighed the sub-Saharan African man. "It is..." he trailed off as he turned the page of the paper in his hand. "Fuck. I never should have subscribed to USA Today."

[Photo: AP]