Lo! What fresh horrors shall the demon gods of global warming be visiting upon humanity in the near future, according to relentlessly negative scientists? Well, killing grandma, for one.

For some reason old people are always dying in heat waves. Do they lack air conditioning? Do they lack cold showers? Do they lack the ability to wrap up a bunch of ice cubes in a paper towel and lay them on top of their head and feel the cold water dripping down the back of their neck in an almost sensual fashion? Maybe. What we can tell you for sure is this: the world’s top scientists are saddened to report that many more old people will probably be roasting to death in their own sweaty apartments in the next 20 or 30 years. A new climate change study from The Lancet, via the New York Times:

The report estimates that the exposure of people to extreme rainfall will more than quadruple and the exposure of people to drought will triple compared to the 1990s. In the same time span, the exposure of the older people to heat waves is expected to go up by a factor of 12, according to Peter Cox, one of the authors, who is a professor of climate-system dynamics at the University of Exeter in Britain.

That’s 12 times more old people————————————- dead. (A Gawker estimate.)

Sorry you like coal so much that’s what you get.

[Photo: AP]