When you go to save the refugees in a war zone, you take only the essentials: First aid, meal kits, knife, poncho liner, and rubberized anal/vaginal orifice for self-pleasuring.

The Guardian, a newspaper of some note, has a bang-up section dedicated to citizen journalism. And this morning it tweeted out the luggage of one such on-the-ground-witness, Afghanistan humanitarian relief worker David Higgins:

We don't know David Higgins, but we'd like to meet him. Here is how he describes the things he carried:

We have to travel light here, so no luxuries: first aid kit, water filter, emergency rations, flesh light, sleeping bag, ground sheet, knife and distress beacon.

Was Higgins just fucking around? Clearly, the answer is yes in any case.