Hundred-Car Pileup Shuts Down Pennsylvania Turnpike, Injures 30
The eastbound Pennsylvania Turnpike near Bensalem was shut down for a large portion of the day yesterday as over 100 cars piled up along the highway. After the first accident occurred at 8:30am, the collisions continued, causing 30 people to be taken into care for injuries. A foot of snow had fallen in the area only five hours earlier, which is speculated to be the cause of the initial crash, as well as sun glare from the icy roads and lifted speed restrictions. The turnpike was open again at 4pm yesterday evening, and the damage cleared, but questions will now be posed on who is responsible for the day-long shakeup. Fingers are already being pointed at the PA Turnpike Commission.
Remember: cars are brutish steel murder machines and snow is a heinous bloated monster intent on destroying everything that is sacred in these United States.