Huge Duck Scares Woman
On Halloween, Karen Haigh—a woman—was driving in Fort Lee, N.J., when she saw a huge duck crossing the road. The duck—a huge duck—stood at six feet four inches. The huge duck scared her.
ABC 7's story, of a Jersey police department that used an undercover officer in a Donald Duck costume to check whether drivers would yield to a pedestrian in the crosswalk, is fine, but it truly comes to life only when Karen Haigh enters the frame. Haigh—again, a woman—did not stop for the huge duck, and received a ticket for her negligence.
Here, Haigh forcefully asserts her own womanhood, the duck's hugeness, and the huge duck's capacity to strike fear into the hearts of women (like her).
"They told me that I was getting a ticket for not stopping for a duck," she said. "But it scared me. I'm a woman. This huge duck scared me."
Lest the hearts of huge-duck truthers harbor any doubt about the hugeness of the huge duck, Haigh invokes its hugeness once more a few paragraphs later.
"It scared me," she said. "It was a huge duck. If it was a person dressed normally, I think all those people would have stopped."
According to ABC, Haigh plans to fight the $230 ticket.
