Horny Teen Respects Friend's Hot Mom So Much, Wants to Take Her to Prom
An ambitious teenage go-getter spotted a bikini photo of his friend's hot mom on Twitter Wednesday and immediately decided she was a total MILR (a mom he would like to respect). With his heart full of pure intentions, he made a wager with his friend: If he managed to get 500,000 retweets, he'd be allowed to take her mom to prom and respect the heck out of her.
Young Anthony "Tone" Pinnisi would like to make sure that the lying news media comparing him to Stifler—are high schoolers even old enough for that reference?—doesn't twist the story to imply that he joked about taking Chloe Albrite's mom to prom because he's horny. He, a teenage boy, is pretty unsure where they got the idea that Mrs. Albrite is an M he would L to F:
Why am i being labled as perverted and horny like nothing about that tweet was perverted or horny i have respect for her mom
— TONE (@AnthonyJPinnisi) January 8, 2015
That's a respect boner, twisted news media. Get it right!
Pinnisi's tweet hit 80,000 retweets before the school district decided that if he's going to politely, non-hornily respect anyone's mom, he'll have to do it outside of a school sponsored event. In what's surely a grievous blow to the status of women everywhere, they ordered him to take it down.
Chloe Albrite confirmed the whole thing was a joke, but Tone's retweets of other high school bros calling him a hero suggest he probably would have gone through with it anyway. Mrs. Albrite, on the other hand, would not have.
"She wouldn't have agreed to go to prom with him, married mothers don't go to prom with teenage boys. She was flattered though," Chloe told MTV.
Chloe also denied the stunt was a roundabout way of asking her to prom, saying she and Tone are just friends.
Godspeed, young Anthony. Enjoy the glory days of your youth with friends your own age, and don't worry: You'll respect a woman someday, and I'm sure it will be beautiful and memorable for both of you.