Here Are the Things That Tim Cook Could Bring to Russia, Besides Ebola
Happy National Tim Cook Coming Out Day! How have you been celebrating? I have been reading the angry responses from homophobic assholes, like this prick and this one. In times like these, it feels prudent to note that if you are a man who has not sucked dick, you are no authority on what it feels like to have a guy's gayness shoved in your face/down your throat. So shut it, amateurs.
Anyway, the Saint Petersburg lawmaker and author of Russia's anti-"gay propaganda" bill Vitaly Milonov is another dickhead who's weighed in on Cook's public admission of his homosexuality by saying, "What could he bring us? The Ebola virus, AIDS, gonorrhea? They all have unseemly ties over there...Ban him for life."
I guess if Tim Cook had those things, he could bring them to Russia, but here are some things Tim Cook could definitely bring to Russia right this second:
- iPhones
- iPhone Pluses
- iPhone cases
- iPhone Plus cases
- iPad Airs
- iMacs (depending on the size of his suitcase)
- One of those blood pressure monitors that hooks into your iPad
- AppleTV
- Cables
- A Michael Kors clutch for iPad Air (for ladies only!)
- Gift cards
The list goes on and on. Dude's got the hook-up, you know?
Oh sorry, I mean gay dude's got the hook-up, you know?
Probably a good day to rewatch Stephen Fry handing Milonov his ass.
[Image via Getty]
