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Liar and professional bisexual Tila Tequila isn't that much worse than her co-stars (including Hulk Hogan's ex-con son Nick, and The Wire's Tray Chaney) in the direct-to-video shitfest Masterminds, but that's like saying that a lobotomy isn't that much worse than losing an eyeball. It all sucks.

The movie is worse than everyone in it, but in this clip reel alone we get at least four best-worst classic lines:

  • "No baby, I'm a paralegal."
  • "When you physically put your hands on me like that, it hurts me."
  • "Why don't you suck your own dick?"
  • "Well guess what? I love your vibe, too."

The movie was way too boring to sit through. I don't even know what it's about. I think Tila Tequila's boyfriend wants Nick Hogan's money and jewels so he pimps her out as bait and she charms him by talking like Honey Boo Boo? Sometimes she runs, sometimes she hides, sometimes she's scared of you. Whatever. I fast-forwarded through and watched every second of her performance, though, so at least that's something. Compelling stuff.