It's basically the Devil Wears Prada, but with less insight and more drug smuggling.

An anonymous former personal assistant wrote the ultimate blind item for New York Magazine today about a well-known and apparently well-medicated Hollywood actress.

What does a life spent catering to the every need of Hollywood's elite entail? According to the assistant, her hellish duties included:

  • Breaking up with the actress's "very prominent movie actor boyfriend" for her, in person.
  • Having a cup of Starbucks waiting next to the actress's bed every morning.
  • Checking newspaper reviews for good books, and then buying those books.
  • Watching the news and then relaying that news back to the actress.
  • Going over scripts with the actress.
  • Driving people to see the actress.
  • Filling prescriptions for the actress.
  • Leaving family functions to pick up the emotional actress from a therapy appointment that turned out to be a psychic appointment.
  • Buying weed for the actress.
  • Unknowingly transporting "stuff" in a checked bag for the actress.

But the straw that broke the assistant's back was when the actress decided to take her boyfriend to an international film festival instead of the assistant, even though she promised the assistant.

Excuse me? "No, there's this guy who I'm seeing right now, and he's just going to come in for a day, instead of the two weeks that you would be there." And she wanted to use my flight to bring him in for one day.

So the assistant quit, but not before she called up a bunch of guys to out the actress's STDs.

I would go pick up her medicine for her, all her pills, and after that I started checking every little thing to see what it was. I was like, Oh my God, I know exactly what she has now. I realized I needed to warn whoever was with her about certain STDs. I called the ex-boyfriend, and I was like, "Hey, you need to get checked out. I don't think she'll ever call you." And he was like, "Oh, shit. Thanks." This was seven months after the breakup. That's just the nice thing to do, to let them know.

Who are these people?